Alice In Beyond
by AmSun
Summary: As Alice visits the Ascot gardens again to seek her way down to Wonderland she gets a suitor she can't deny. What happened while she was gone and what will happen when her friends in Wonderland hear of the upcoming marriage? Alice/Hatter
1. Five years of sorrow

**This is my first fanficition so be harsh on me so I learn. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character or the world, they all belong to Disney and Tim Burton, but I do wish they were mine.**

Alice counted the little black marks on the paper. 2095 days since her return from Wonderland. Almost five whole years of counting days and she slowly felt the years filling her mad brain with grey thoughts of a numb, regular day.

Alice visited the Ascot gardens every year at the exact same day the hole opened the last time, wishing it had opened again, but it never had. After a while she started to think it might have been nothing but a silly dream she should forget everything about because she was not going to see her Underland again. It was one thing and mostly one thing only that brought her back from her delusions. Her promise to Hatter. She said she wouldn't forget him and no matter how much the Otherworld pulled her memories she was determined not to break her promise. Hatter was pretty much the only thing on her mind all the time and he had been for all those years. Every streak of orange could be his hair and every glistening piece of green could be his eyes.

It felt exactly as though she was going even madder, the way she loved him. Other men had asked for her hands, of course, with the company she was rich, determined and, even though she wouldn't dream of thinking so herself, gorgeous. They could be nice, sweet and even funny but she always thought they missed a streak of…madness.

Every time she closed her eyes and daydreamed she thought of him. That day at the Red Queens castle when he got furious with himself. The anger she felt upon seeing his chain binding him, the sorrow she felt upon watching him hate something that much and the last thing, the relief she felt when holding his face and watching him turn back to his proper Hatter-manner. Not that there was anything particular proper about it and that was just how she liked it.

Even her nightmares held Hatter. Killed by Stayne, executioned by the Red Queen, forgetting her. She missed every part of Wonderland, yes, but she felt like she lost a part of herself whenever she thought of him.

Alice Kingsley drew yet another line in her book of days since Wonderland and went to bed, wrapping her blanket harshly around her so she could dream about all of her friends.

* * *

In Underland it was still broad daytime when Alice went to bed, since time works differently there, as you all know. For a certain Tarrant Hightopp time was going more slow than ever, it seemed even more slow than when it stood completely still and it probably was, but the days were ticking by in natural speed, making it four and a half years since The Frabjous Day. He mostly sat at the dinner table outside of the March Hare's, singing himself a little lullaby, without any greater meaning but to keep him awake. Sometimes Mallyumkun lured him off and they would have a great afternoon, like the times they had before Alice. Usually he was so lost to his own madness though, that both Thackary and Mallyumkun stayed away from him. They whished they didn't have to but the last time they sat with him a whole afternoon Thackary almost lost an ear in one of Hatters outbursts. They had practically moved to Mirana's castle.

Tarrant didn't care though. His mind was like a big bowl of fog and he only waited, waited and sang. They few moments when he found clarification he still was just screaming at himself, hurting himself, wondering how he could let her go. How he could put himself in such a depression. Wondering if she was still alive up there and breaking the porcelain because he couldn't protect her. This day was a happy, foggy moment though and only riddles, ridiculous thoughts like the reason to why the sky wasn't brightly red and the song flew to his head. That particular song echoed through all the woods of Underland as he sang it loudly.

_"Lullabies and ligaments and lopricads and larveas_

_Linnioni, laziness and ladies and lerveas_

_And loads and loans and lots and labove_

_I was considering words with an L, like… Love."_

He wasn't quite sure about this love part so he whispered it quietly. He sure felt something but it was more sad and missing and warm and longing. It wasn't like they way you loved a sibling or a parent or a friend. Well, he did feel like that for a friend, but that again meant that it couldn't be love because he didn't feel like this for just anyone. Only Alice.

Suddenly something poked him on the shoulder and the soft voice of a woman called his name. "Tarrant?"

He felt butterflies in his stomach, just hoping it would be Her and he slowly, slowly turned around, feeling like shattered glass when he was facing the eyes for the White Queen.

"D-do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?" he said, trying to avoid the gaze of her eyes on him. It felt as though she was reading his mind and he didn't like it because it was not a rather pleasant place to be, in fact it was terribly crowed and horridly messy. He doubted that Mirana would approve of such a state of mind, especially since his worries was quickly returning just as the madness was.

Mirana didn't answer his question; she just had a seat at the long table, giving him a sad smile. Hatter felt too drained to tell her the impoliteness of sitting down when no one offered her a seat and he didn't really care as she actually was his friend but also the mighty queen and he would never deny her a seat, never.

The sat in the awkward silence, thoughts of failing filled Hatters head more and more and he just wished for Mirana to leave to he could surrender to the angry mad hatter again, pushing all the awful thoughts out of his mind. At last, Mirana spoke. "Tarrant. You can't sit here anymore. It's been almost four and a half years of your life, wasted. We moved on. You should too, before there's too much madness and too little Tarrant in that brain of yours. I've been letting this go on for too long."

"It's Alice, your highness." The white queen gave him a furrowed brow. "I'm sorry. Mirana. I need to wait here, I've told you. What if she can't find me if she returns? Maybe she… forgot, then she will probably go the same way as the last time and here I will be, waiting to explain and take care of her." He had a hint of sorrow in his eyes when he looked at her.

"You're right about one thing. It is Alice. The champion. The one who slayed the Jabberwocky. She will remember this time and you can come live in Marmoreal if you want to, working as my royal Hatter. She will have no trouble finding Marmoreal, you know it as well as I do."

Tarrant looked at her with tried eyes, eyes that almost lost all spark of green. "I'd love to be your royal hatter, I would." He looked horribly thorn by the choice of staying or going. "It's just a few days till' the hole will open and maybe then she will come back and I can go to Marmoreal after that. I still couldn't work like this, at least I think so." He looked away for a second and then he turned to her again. "So… You still have no idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" He said, as he always did when he felt uncomfortable.

Ignoring his pleading question she picked up the subject again. "I wish I didn't have to do this as you are one of my dearest friends and it is against my values to hurt any living creature but this really has been going on for too long, just as I said. " She flickered her eyes for a moment as Tarrant just stared blankly at her. "The hole will open again, yes. For the 11:th time since Alice. Don't be all impossible here, Tarrant. You told me it was Alice we're talking about and I confirmed and I will confirm again. She would have gotten here if she wanted to or if she could. She hasn't." As Tarrant was to open his mouth she put up a finger and continued talking, this was clearly the hard part since her voice was low and sad. "I – I sent McTwisp after her, Tarrant. It was a year ago and she was no where to be found. Maybe she moved on with her live of maybe she's sick or injured or travelling or… I would rather not say this, but you need to hear it. She might not even live anymore. I don't think she will ever return."

The green eyes found a spark of life and turned into a tone of darkly red. "Ow dare ye say anytin' like tha'? Th' lassie will return to mi arms, Ah' 'now she would never give up on me, nosheneverwould'ave." He spoke faster and faster, slamming chairs to the ground and screaming and, actually, growing. He grew so quick that he soon was bigger than a house, just out of pure anger. The queen had to leave to not be in real danger but she returned every day to watch him but as she one day was only an inch from receiving a deadly blow with the table to her head she realised she had to leave him to his own madness, letting the Underlandians listen to Tarrant's screams until he had calmed himself down.


	2. A suitor from Beyond

…And so Alice woke up, on the day of the fifth year since her return to Wonderland. She quickly got up out of bed and opened the big Oak wardrobe that stood in a corner of her room. She trembled through the mass of clothes that she collected under her whole life and eventually her hands found the sheer fabric of a blue dress."Perfect!" she said out loud and pulled it out. It had been the one in the absolute back and was a bit dusty but she hugged it like she never wanted to let it go. It was the exact dress she had when she went down to Wonderland for the first time and it was her definite favourite. She certainly missed wearing it but she had made a promise to only wear it when going to the ascot gardens. That way, the dress could stay a part of Wonderland in her everyday life. It even smelled just as sweet.

She slipped it on and laced her white boots to her ankles and let out her hair. When she looked in the mirror she found herself looking like the 19-year-old version of herself. It made it feel a bit more real and pieces of that day started to play in her head as she attached the two last pieces of her attire to mothers' necklace was the first and the second was a bracelet she had a silversmith do after her return. It said; "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" and right next to it there was this tiny little pocket watch, just like the one Nivens had. The smith thought it was a very weird choice of words but she didn't care. She never had.

When she felt fully clothed and when she had finished her breakfast she put a prewritten letter on her writing desk, it was for her family in case of her never returning horse and carriage waited for her so she hurried out to go to the Ascot gardens yet another time. When she arrived she sneaked around the hedges and statues so no one would see her. Alice was always a bit nervous to meet Hamish but then she only thought about his face next to the Jabberwocky and she started to laugh. Hamish was nothing compared to that and as long as Hamish wasn't growing big wings and even larger teeth she wouldn't have to worry.

After a while she did reach the place of the hole and it felt like a rock had pierced her heart when she only saw solid ground. This was so important to her that she had travelled back from China every year just to do this, still there was no sunk to her knees breathless. Why did she always have to chase rainbows? Of course the hole wasn't there, it would never be there again. She didn't like crying very much but her heart was once again wounded. Then she heard someone breathing behind her back and she feared turning around, not knowing who or what it was. Anyhow, it wasn't a normal Otherland-animal, because it soon started talking.

"Why do you assume that the hole will open at the same place, same time again, even though you've seen the madness in Underland? If I didn't know better I'd assume that you were a very stupid girl." She turned around quickly, only to see a tremendously fat man, almost like the one in the red queens court. He had tiny little eyes and the nose of a pig and he also wore Hamish's expression all over his face. He looked very boring and his clothes were in the dull colour of black.

Alice had to hold back a giggle, specially as the man looked as he thought he was the best looking man on the earth when he were more of the rather opposite. After a deep breath she instead took the role of a businesswoman, though she was desperate to know what he knew about her Wonderland. "Pardon me. " Alice said. "How do you know Underland? I'd also like to know how you know me well enough to figure out I'm smart rather than dumb?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me." The man said, in a not-forgiving-at-all kind of tone. "I'm Eriah from Beyond and ever since I heard about your slaying of the Jabberwockey, I've been fascinated with you. Let's just say I've been watching you."

Alice looked highly insulted but her anger had to part for her curiosity. "Beyond? Where may that be?"

For the first time the man smiled towards her, revealing his hideous teeth. "When you fall down the hole you see a lot of doors, don't you?" He asked and Alice gave him a slight nod. "Not all of them are Underland. Actually some of them are lands situated both under and over Otherland and Underland. Beyond is right below Underland. The big door leads there."

Alice looked confused. "But I tried the big door and it wouldn't open!"

"Ah- I forgot to tell you. The key only leads you to the place your heart truly desires."

She felt like she was hit by a train. Apparently there were more secret worlds, and here she thought as an ignorant girl that she had found the only two there was.

"I know your heart chose Underland but I still have an offer… Well, not as much an offer as a royal order, in fact."

A royal offer? Alice's thoughts immediately went to Mirana. Did she send her this man?

Eriah almost reacted as he knew what she was thinking, saying; "By that I mean my orders. I am the King of Beyond and I do certainly need a queen. You being a champion and at the same time so beautiful will secure both the heir to the throne and the reputation of the royal court in Beyond."

"Wait, wait, what?" Alice, shrieked, not quite yet understanding what he said but something in her brain told her it was very, very bad.

"I want you to be my wife." Eriah looked really irritated.

She looked at his lifeless hair and eyes and tried to find even a spark of muchness. Nothing.

"I- I can't marry you. I'm very honoured by my heart lies with… Someon- I mean, something else. Underland." She blushed as she was clearly about to say Someone and that was nothing she wished to discuss when there were an Absolum somewhere and that was not something she wanted him to hear, specially not if he could tell her friends and someone could misinterpret it. She wasn't even sure, she was just very, very fond of Hatter and her heart pounded harder every time she though about him but it could also be nothing, simply a great friendship.

Eriah Of Beyond laughed a raw, mean laugh. "You don't have a choice, Alice. I've seen how fond you are of your "Wonderland" and your friends down there and I am ready to kill to have you my wife. You understand? My army is twice the size of all inhabitants of Underland, Alice Kingsley, and to not have you would be accounted for as a personal fail. I love you with every part of my heart. Ever since I first saw you, I have." He said in a half-whispering, threatful voice and took one of her hands.

Disgusted Alice drew back her hand and gave him a mad look. "Are you threatening my friends?" If she were Hatter she would surely be talking in Outlandish by now.

"Very much, yes. I would have taking over Underland for a long time ago but I don't like it. It's loud, colourful, MAD!" He said, with disgust. "But for you… I'll do it. I've read about all of them in your book, the notes you take about the trip down there, when you sit down and write. I have a mirror you know, it helps me see everything you do. "

Alice just breathed heavily. He was really threatening Underland. The whole world spun around her and she was thankful for still sitting on the ground.

"If you follow me you will have a great life. Otherwise… Mallyumkun, Thackary, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, Nivens, and Mirana would be the first ones to go. Then I will find the Hatter and my men will bring him to me. I will torture him, Alice." He said, knowing he hit a weak spot as he had read about the man as she rambled about him in her little book. She was clearly in love but Eriah didn't quite mind. "I will mess with his mind, remembering him of you taking so many years to come back. I will remind him that you left him and I will tell him you didn't even care enough about him to save him, even though you had the chance too. Eventually he will be so broken he won't care anymore. Everything he loved will be gone and well, if he has a thought of doing something stupid… I won't be the one stopping him. He won't have to suffer longer than he chooses too, Alice. At least you can see that relief when you're walking around in the blood of your friends."

Alice felt the rage building up inside of her, hitting this horrid man as hard as she could, everywhere, she screamed at him and she bit him but nothing seemed to do him any harm. He was like a big ball of chewing gum. She just hit and hit and single silver droplets poured down her cheeks. "You are the evilest arse of a man that will ever live and I hope you rot to death!" After her screaming that same thing out, over and over again and at the same time thinking of her friends she felt all energy running out of her. Slowly she fell to her knees again.

"I- I accept." She said, not even knowing it was her own words. But she had to do it. The thought of her dead friends and the tormented Hatter hurt her too much. Her skin was the palest tone, not even two roses on her cheeks and she looked numb, gone.

"Perfect. The hole will open at 9 p.m. tomorrow and it should only take you four days to get to Beyondland. If you're not there then I will send my army out. Dress in black."

He handed her a map and gave her a peck on the cheek and she got to her feet and ran, ran, ran. She couldn't feel anything; her feet had their own life. Her fiancée screamed after her. "Whatever you do, don't tell your friends about what I said. See you soon, Alice dear."Then he evaporated into the thin air and Alice Kingsley ran down the streets of London, determined not to cry, but with a big lump in her throat.

**Second chapter. I'm not very pleased with this, Alice is clearly acting too weird to be Alice and Eriah is too much of a sterotypic villain but it will be better, I promise. I would have imrpoved this chapter too but I can't exactly pin-point the places I need to change. Anyone got ideas?**

**I should also tell you that I've written about 80% of the story already, maybe more so I'll just keep publishing chapters every day for now and later on, I'll see how I do.**

**Oh, and about the chewing gum part... I did some research and the Alice In Wonderland wiki tells me she was 7 at the year of 1853 which means it was 1872 by the time she was 19. The chewing gum (the modern kind, I should add, since it has existed since the stone age period before that, but I don't think the texture was the same) was invented in the 1860's so it would have been possible for her to think he felt like chewing gum.**

**Thank you for reading :)**


	3. Two apologizes and one goodbye

**Yes, I am horridly mean, to poor Tarrant and the (sligthly mean herself, I would say) Alice. I guess I have this devilish side that needs an outlet ;)**

**Now it's time for more Tarrant and a lot of Alice. It's a shorter chapter today I think and if you fancy Hatter/Mirana you might have a tiny hint of that here (if you don't just look past it, I am really a Tarrant/Alice shipper so there's no worries.)**

**Also, thank you to jamiegirl123 for commenting on the story and thank you to those who signed up to be alerted!**

**Now I won't distract you anymore, have a nice time reading!**

During the time Alice spent with Eriah, a few days already passed in Underland and queen Mirana awaited for a visit from Tarrant any day soon. She was anxious, as she really whished he would forgive her. She just needed to tell him the truth, even though she hated it. She hated to see him go mad, he was one of her dearest friends and she never wanted to loose him. As she thought a tiny, tiny creature came walking on the marble floor that led up to the throne. He held a hat in his hands and went up to the queen with bent-down head.

_"Mirana?"_ The little creature said with a squeaky voice, pulling the hem of her skirt with his small hand.

"Oh, Tarrant!" The queen exclaimed upon seeing the little person. She pulled out two large balls of cotton from her ears and took the small version of Hatter into her palm so she could bring him closer to her face. She was so happy he was fine, although rather samll. Screaming that long weren't really good for your health. "I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't want you to waste your life waiting when there's so much else you could do." A streak of sorrow fell over her face. "I- I just remembered the Horevendush day and how you reacted. You weren't ever the same after and I don't blame you for that but you waited in vain, even that time. Could you ever forgive me?"

_"I'm a stupid, stupid Hatter- To be mad with you, when you are the one to bring Underland back to normal, Idon'tknowwhastgotintomyheadand-"_

"Hatter!" Mirana said, to stop one of his outbursts.

_"I'm fine" _He croaked. _"I feel so stupid. How could I scream at you? How could I be so selfish?"_

"I don't mind at all." She answered as if it was all forgotten. After all, she was the sister to the Red Queen and she did not fancy admitting she'd done wrong too much. "Shall we make you regular Tarrant-size then?" She gave him a genuine smile and elegantly moved out into the kitchen. After the most disgusting portion that held things that would indeed make you throw up he looked like himself. A lite more tired, a little madder but like Hatter.

"I would love to have you staying here, if you wish." She told him, in a tone that showed she didn't want to leave him alone again, that she'd rather keep him under sight.

He nodded. "It would be my pleasure." And then he really smiled, for the first time since Alice.

...Little did he know he would meet her soon enough.

* * *

"Alice." Her sister, Margaret, knocked on the door. "I haven't met you for the whole day and you've just been ignoring me. I'm both angry and worried and if you don't let me in right now I will kick down your door."

Alice stepped up and just turned the lock, then she went back into bed, where she sat in the dark corner and hugged her pale knees. Her blond hair laid in front of her face, making her look really miserable and her eyes were completely red from crying. Margaret looked all pale when she came in and saw Alice in her present state, her mouth opened wide like on a fish. If Alice had felt normal she would probably have laughed at it but as she was feeling now, she couldn't quite laugh at anything.

"Oh, gosh, how are you?" She rushed forward to feel Alice's forehead, her whole beeing screaming of worry. "Are you sick? In trouble? What are you doing in here?"

"I-" Alice mumbled, not knowing what to tell her dear sister. It had all been upon her so hastily and she knew that this would be the last time they saw each other. How could one mouth the words for such a moment. They just stood there, listening to the wooden floor squeaking and the branches that hit the windows until Alice decided to tell her sister at least half the truth. "I'm getting married." She said, whispering.

"Alice! That is wonderful news!" Margaret shrieked. "How? Why haven't you told me earlier? Why are you so down?"

"I met him on my business trip and he is leaving for his country tonight, by carriage. He wants me to come with him and I don't even know if I can return to London from there. I mean... I might not meet you or mom again."

It was not quite right but then again, Alice didn't want Margaret to believe that she had lost her mind completely. Margaret started to cry and took her little sister into her arms and just sat there, holding her, the warmth of the others body comforting them both. "Did you tell mom?"

Alice nodded. "She thinks it's a great idea, she will miss me but… Marriage is everything to her."

"I'll really miss you, I will."

"I'll miss you too, Margaret." She said.

The two of them just sat there in the darkness, the small lines of light surrounding the curtain of her window was the only source of light. Slowly they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Alice woke up at eight, worried she missed the hole opening but with one look at the pocket watch she calmed down again. She put a blanket over her sibling and then she put on a fairly simply dress in black satin and a tiny black bow as a headband. She hoped that the mass of fabric on the dress would cover her shaking body but she realised that fear wasn't possible to hide.

She tried to make up her pale skin, tried to hide the black marks under her eyes but apparently sorrow wasn't very good to hide either.

She wore her steadiest black boots and hoped that they would make her look secure and certain but she just looked even more unsure.

Last but not least she left two letters on the desk with the names Helen Kingsley and Margaret Kingsley written in calligraphy on them. They explained what would happen with the money she had made in the company and they showed how much she would miss them and that she wished them all luck and that they shouldn't worry because she was going to be lucky. She knew that Eriah wasn't the man for her and she knew she lied but she would rather lie than upset her family.

So, at last, she went. Scared, sad, unsecure and a wreck on her way to betray everything she believed in. But she did it for a good cause. With heavy steps she went on the carriage that would bring her to the Ascot gardens for the very last time. When she got there, she just stood nervously at the place where the hole had been, waiting for it to open up. She had taken of her shoes and held them in her right hand so she could feel the wet grass. Suddenly she felt the ground crack into tiny, tiny pieces under her and she fell with a gasp.

**Yes, so that is all for today :)**

**If you LOVED or just HATED it or maybe wants to comment on a fact fault I did, like Alice carrying shoes in the wrong hand, give me a little comment in the reviews section and I will squeak of joy. There is no bad attention you know ;)**


	4. Fell down

**I'm so sorry for not updating yesterday but we were baking cake for my mother's birthday, which is today.**

**However, I don't know how many that is reading this anyway so I hope not too many were bothered by waiting one day. I don't know if I am publishing too quick though, and too much at once? I'll try a smaller chapter this time, to see what you think.**

Alice Kingsley fell with the most rapid speed, her limbs felt like they were stretched in all the different ways and would soon fall off her. Pianos and books and toys were circling around her in the strangest combinations and she tried to not get hit. She knew she wouldn't, of course, but it was just as scary to fall every single time. She was not completely certain it was in fact falling either, not when it was upwards but she had to give it a name and falling was the closest thing. Alice hit the ground with an "Uff!" on the floor (so apparently not upwards this time. _How odd_, she thought.) It was so familiar, all of it. The little glass table, the key, the portion.

She took the little key and put it in the lock of the big door, panicking when it didn't fit. What did Eriah say?

"Oh." She mouthed when she realized_. "Don't tell your friends. It goes where your heart desires. Your heart chose Underland." _His voice was playing like a record in her head, drumming on her brain and playing on her nerves. She was quite sure of what she had to do, but she'd rather keep her hope for as long as possible. It would be much better if she didn't have to see her Wonderland again. Alice quickly grabbed her map, which she had kept in her basque and unfolded it. It showed the room she was standing in and it was pointing towards the tiny door. Just as she thought. She had to pass through Wonderland to reach Beyond.

She took the lid of the little bottle with the key safe in her right hand. Luckily, another small black dress formed on her as she shrunk, something she was greatly thankful for. She was no seamstress and had never been and without needle and thread she wouldn't be able to create much with the over-sized old one. Alice put some upfelkutchen in a pocket in her dress and took a step inside the place she would be more than happy to call "home". She had almost forgot the breathtaking feeling of stepping out the the old, broken-down stairs to find a world so filled with growth and magic and miracles. That could do nothing else then leave the girl standing with her jaw open. She felt dizzy, seeing Wonderland. To leave this for Beyond. She couldn't even understand it herself. No matter how pretty or fantastic Beyond was she couldn't imagine it being better than Underland.

She actually felt nauseous, both after the great fall and the bittersweet feeling of finding what she lost, just to have it taken away again. She had to shake off all her emotions to calm herself down, and so she did. Then, Alice took up the map again and studied it hard. For the first path she wouldn't have to cross any of the places where her friends usually where and she sighed with relief, because she knew that if she met them, she had to be cruel. She had to make them uninterested and mad with her so they wouldn't miss her or wonder, she had already decided that, so it was a pleasure to see that she wouldn't have to hurt them like that.

…And then the picture changed to show the rest of her path and she saw it. She would have to pass through Mirana's castle. If it was because of the steep fall, her busy schedule or the sudden news I cannot tell, but Alice felt her legs weaken and her head spinning a thousand times in a second and then she once again fell, shorter this time. Alice fainted.

When she woke up, she saw tweedledee and tweedledum leaning over her and checking her pulse. First she saw eight, then she saw four and at last she saw her dear friends.

"Alice!" They both exclaimed. "We thought it was you…"

"…Even though you have lost your sense of fashion. You look so…"

"…Dull. Staying long?"

Alice just shook her head, still a bit lost.

"I- I'm not staying at all. I'm just trespassing."

"Can't you at least stay for tea?"

"Tea is good, helps travelling. We missed you."

The tweedles looked up at her with pouting lips and she took a deep breath. First try. She felt it ought to be hard to let them down but it was for there own best. All she had to do was imagining them laying on the ground with- No, she didn't even have to go further.

"Don't you understand? Oh, no, I remembered. In Underland logic doesn't even exist. Well then, I'll explain, and you better listen so you can tell everyone else. This place is horridly, horridly wicked and I can't understand I didn't get that the first time I was here." She gulped and continued. "Now, if you may… You are both so fat you're blocking my way. I suggest you should move." Alice could only talk with a clenched jaw, afraid that they would see through her lie. She pushed them aside, as gently as she could, and ran off into the forest, her nails deeply buried in her palms to keep her sane. She wasn't the best actor but the Tweedles believed her stuttering, upset speech.

"Was that really…"

"…Our Alice?" They said, staring after her as she ran away amongst the trees.


	5. When you hurt, it hurts

**I wont be able to publish anything here until the 3:rd since I'm leaving for a place in Sweden called Dalarna to spend time with one of my best friends tomorrow. I hope you have a great time though, and I promise I will publish a rather long chapter when I return..**

**Now I hope you will enjoy Alice's encounter with the Cheshire cat :)**

Alice punched a tree on her way through the forest, her knuckles getting bruised on the hard bark. It helped to relief her feelings like that, if just for a moment. What she had done, it was awful. She called the tweedles fat, she was rude to her friends. Alice had missed them so and to not be able to show them that she did felt like a dark spiral on its way down. It hurt, more than any physical thing would ever hurt her. She kept punching the tree while biting her lip so hard thatshe wouldn't start to cry. She did it for them, it was best this way, that was what she had to remind herself of. She couldn't do anything else than to scream at the forest and take out her anger on the Underland to cure her bruised heart. If it meant bruised knuckles, she had to take that.

She hit the tree until she couldn't hit anymore, until the lump in her throat was gone and she just felt like a worn-out piece of ugly clothing and then she kept walking on the dark forest paths, hoping that she wouldn't meet anybody else. Alice was literary praying to faith. That was why she got really irritated and tired when a broad grin evaporated in front of her. Fate was not her friend, in fact, it was pulling a prank on her.

"My oh my, isn't it our Champion? How have you been, Alice?"

"Get away, Chessur." She hissed angrily.

"Got an attitude, huh? Did you wake up on the wrong side this morning?" The cat toyed with his paws and laughed at her irritated ways. She couldn't believe that he found it amusing to see her mad, which of course made her madder but at the same time, Chessur was also her friend and he was also her constant guide and helper, even if he was a tad annoying.

"I'm tired of all this weirdness down here. Just leave me alone, stupid cat." She spat out, keeping her head bent down low so the clever Cheshire cat wouldn't see her true feelings.

"If you want to keep me away you'd better try some worse insults, dear. I've heard some things from the Hatter that aren't pretty. He missed you, you know."

Hearing Hatters name, hearing that he missed her made her speechless. If she met him, she didn't know how to keep the stone face up. Which was why she could only "Oh" what the cat had just said. She was knocked out of her course, but only temporarily.

"Actually, with all his screaming it has been really hard to concentrate. …Oops, did I say too much?" Chess gave her a wryly smile.

Had he been screaming? For her? That just couldn't be. Chessur was just playing with her and she suddenly didn't find it a problem to insult him as the rage, combined with the feeling of hurting her friends, built up in her.

"You know what, you irritating, slurvish ball of fur and failure? If I were you I wipe the grin of my face because I don't care about the Hatter or you or anyone else anymore. This land is driving me crazy and I just want to get out of it as quickly as possible so if I were you I would use those silly evaporating skills of yours and go far, far away."

Chess froze and then he gave Alice a hiss as he disappeared with a frown all over his face and Alice once again felt so guilty for what she had done, even if she actually were irritated with Chess for playing around with her feelings like that. It was so much easier to insult and lie and betray this time though, and it disturbed her that it was. It should never be easy to hurt someone. Never.

She ran and ran until her legs literary couldn't carry her, trying to keep away from the parts where she usually met the people she knew. She also found the places her friends wouldn't show her the last time she was here and she realized why. There were dark places in her own Wonderland and they contained plenty of traps in the form of holes and branches which she had to use all of her brain to lure away from but she never stopped running. She couldn't help to find beauty even in the worst parts of her beloved Underland either and that, if something, created cracks in her heart. The small pink flowers on a tree with thorns that was 3 inches long and deadly sharp and the glistering orange shell of the lonely bug right next to her. It was something special. You could even say magic.

All these things reminded her of her misery and slowly, slowly pulled her energy and assertiveness from her but she kept fighting and didn't stop running until she fell to the ground after being in the forest for more than a day. The ground was cold and wet and the sun was heading down once again and she felt like she couldn't run through yet another night, she had to find protection. Glimmering yellow eyes shone to her in the night, but she soon realized that they didn't want to cause any harm, they actually helped her find her way. Her eyes were almost falling together as she finally found a couple of giant leaves that wanted to offer her a home for the night. They wrapped themselves around her as a cocoon, feeling like a nice friends embrace, something she had missed ever since she hugged Margaret good-bye. The wind rocked her to sleep as she watched the rainbow-colored raindrops that started to fall down from heaven, looking almost like the tears she didn't want to spill.


	6. A dreaded meeting

**I'm back and we will finally have some Alice and Hatter! I'm sorry that it might not be the romantic thing you would want but please keep up with this angst for just a bit more and you will soon have some real romance, that is a promise. Thank you for the reviews and faves while I was gone, it's really warming! :)**

**Enjoy!**

The sun hitting her face in the early morning awakened her at approximately the same time as the birds started to sing their odd little melodies. It was peaceful and she didn't freeze at all, the leaves had protected her well from the rain. As she struggled to get out of them she whispered a quiet "Thank you" and then kept walking along the winding, dark roads. It had been nice to feel the embrace of a friend, even if it just was a non-talking plant. They hadn't judged her, they just accepted her. It was nice. She saw the breath-taking sunset over the mountains, peeking in on her through the branches that grew so tight. It was a nice first sight and it filled her with some hope, even if it only lasted the fragment of a second.

Alice grabbed a two purple fruits from a tree nearby, keeping one of them as proviant. She figured she wouldn't get that many invitations to lunch parties a long the road, not the way she acted. The thought of that actually made her slip a half-hearted smile as she kept walking, nibbling on the sweet fruit that tasted very close to a mixture of a grape and a marsmallow. It wasn't really her choice of breakfast but there was not that much to choose from either. She could almost see Marmoreal over the trees now and it was as grand as it always had been when the white marble glimmered like the rainbow in the light of the sunset.

Alice reached the castle by lunchtime, lucky enough not to see anyone on the way, lucky enough to be just a passing stranger. Her feet ached and she was starving so with some doubts she ate the last fruit with hesitation. Her throat once again received that uncomfortable lump of panic as she looked up at the castle with flickering eyes. Alice decided to rush through the castle as quickly as possible and she also decided that she would only stop if someone grabbed her. She didn't want to confront Mirana; the queen was almost like a sister to her now and it would feel like betraying family. Her only luck was that her Hatter did not live at the castle, he lived quite a bit from there and he seldom left his precious tea-table. Never before had that been such a relief as now.

She could feel the scent of the blooming cherry trees as she stepped inside and she wished she had time to smell them and take it all in, but she didn't. So instead Alice bent her head down and determinately walked along the citizens walk, a corridor that led to the snud, the southern parts of Wonderland. It was a long walk, not used by that many, but the queen still decorated it just as beautiful as the other parts of the castle. A piano was playing from an open window and Alice sighed as she looked at the marble sculptures, each of them being a memorable Wonderland-citizen. From the look of her future husband, Beyondland didn't favour excessive amounts of decorations or music or even joy.

Alice, who had been wrapped up in her own thoughts suddenly heard the clapper of a pair of shoes and she felt a hand grab her shoulder, holding her harshly but at the same time with a very soft touch, that kept her from pacing forward to the rest of the corridor. They stood right in front of the castles main garden entrance and she could just guess the identity of the person behind her. She slowly turned and lifted her head and she was right. It was the White Queen, looking as fairy-like and happy as usual.

"Alice! I'm so happy to see you again. How are you, dear? Chessur told me he met up with you but it sounded so very different from your usual…"

"He was right." She interrupted bitterly as Chessur actually was right.

"He can't be, he said you were both rude and mean and... It didn't sound like you, dear." Mirana gave her a bothered smile, her hands seemingly resting on the air.

"Well, I was. I can't bear Underland any more, Mirana. I can't stand this! It naive, unrealistic" She looked into the rest of the citizens walk and tried to blink away the burning beneath her eyelids. "Like you, you're just fussing around, talking to flowers and believing the worst thing in the world is losing your crown." She bit her lip and added one more thing. "It makes me sick."

Mirana looked like she was in shock and it made her loose both her queen-like posture and her mind. "Well, then Chessur was right. I apologize for disturbing you, Alice Kingsley. Have a nice trip back to realistic." Mirana's soft voice was now hard and she was talking an orange-haired man stepped out on the stair behind the queen, his sparkling green eyes and pale skin made Alice feel like her world just crashed and burned. The only man that would ever be able to blow her cover and the man that probably would. She stiffened as she looked at him, unable to voice anything. He was better then she had remebered him back in London, looking just perfectly mad and wonderful. His smile made large cuts in her heart, she had missed the shy smiles he would reserve for her.

"Mirana, I've finished the hat." He said, eyes only on the queen. Then he turned to see what she was talking to and looking at Alice made him drop the hat he was carrying. "Is that- I mean she sure looks real but Alice wouldn't wear- Or would she?"

He rushed towards Alice while Mirana pleaded. "Tarrant, no." He took no notice on Mirana, his eyes were focused on Alice.

"You are Alice! You are Alice, I would know you anywhere! You're late, you know. Naugthy."He grabbed her and twirled around with her in his arms, just shining with joy but with a mischievous glimpse in his tremendously huge, green eyes. They just stared at each other, as if they just received a new toy. Since time does, as I've already told you, work funny in Wonderland they could feel like they twirled for an eternitysecond and Alice felt his scent rub off on her as she leaned over on him and started to cry for the first time since her meeting with Eriah. He smelled so much like Hatter, a nice mixture of citrus fruits, earl grey, old fabric and forest. It was so unreal, but it was Hatter.

How she longed for him during five whole years, and here he was. She never wanted to let go, never. But she had to, as Hatter sat her down with a worried expression in his face, trying to dry her tears with his bandaged hands. She just pushed them away, one at the time. She could not allow herself to crawl into his arms and just tell him about everything, feeling his comfort. She had to paint the horrible pictures of what would happen if she did in her brain and that was the only thing that kept her from giving up."Alice? Are you alright? Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to hug you that hard and I didn't mean to make you cry, pleasestopIwon't-"

"Tarrant!" Mirana said, knowing exactly what would happen. She couldn't go inside again and just leave Hatter here but she wished she could just pull him away without having him hate her for an eternity. So, she ended up doing nothing.

"I'm fine." He said, then again watching Alice with eyes turning more and more blueish. "I've just missed you, so much. Please tell me what's wrong." He almost lisped on every word, she could hear how he tried to not mix the words up and how he tried to keep his head clear as the emotions tried to take over to make him mad. It hurt her so bad, seeing him having to try like that, for her. It hurt even more when she realized what she had to answer to keep him away.

"You are." She said, in a low, slurred voice. "You are what's wrong, Hatter. You and all of this stupid Underland. It's silly and naive and I'm just traveling through so there is no need to be so happy." She thought of what Chessur had said about him screaming, could it be true? Then she would only be hurting him more and she certainly didn't want to, she wanted to protect him, she did. Alice figured he wouldn't love her that much, he was only a friend, and took his hands. They were warm and held hers so gently in his as if she were a porcelain doll.

"After my life in London I've realized this is all silly, there is more than Jabberwockeys and big headed queens. You are too mad and childish, Hatter, and I don't blame you, but I can't have it that way. I'm leaving for an even more reasonable place and I'd prefer if you did not try to contact me again. I'm sorry." She said and let go, running off with tears streaming down her face, feeling like the biggest jerk ever. Everything she did was by routine because she wasn't even able to think, if felt as though she would have imploded if she did.

Tarrant had listened to her words with painful attention, only leaning on the softness in her hands, telling him she wouldn't want him any harm. Then she let him go.

…. And that was when Tarrant Hightopp fell down a big, black hole.


	7. Blown away

**I feel so sorry for Alice and Tarrant, for the moment this is very tragic. However, if you do fancy some Mirana/Tarrant I have a _very_ subtle flirt here somewhere, probably so subtle you won't notice it but still. Thank you for writing reviews and making me happy, it feels so good to post a new chapter then. Oh, and don't worry about them not ending up together. I always favor happy endings! :)**

Tarrant stood on his knees on the marble floor and the hallucinations of Alice laughed at him as the walls fell down and the real Alice ran away from him. It was the last push his heart needed to real lunacy. He laughed and laughed, higher and higher. His laughs sounded platonic and cold and very soon the laughs were followed by him running up the stairs in panic. He couldn't even think about what he was doing and he felt his feet loosing grip as he fell and hit his head. Then everything went black.

* * *

Alice still felt Mirana's judgmental eyes and Hatter's sad ones burning in her neck as she finally reached Beyond after a steep stair. Her heart pounded as if it were about to pound out of her chest. Everywhere around her people stared blankly, without any emotion, at the black and white surroundings. They were so alike Alice had a hart time to part them and the lack of color in Beyond was something she was painfully aware of. It was just as dull as she had thought and the memory of her friends echoed in her head, tears still streaming silently along her cheeks. She still found her mind too clouded to think straight.

No one wanted to stop and help her find her way and the animals just stared at her quietly when she asked them. The map was too hard to understand. It was like London, a stricter, darker, colder London.

"Why am I doing this?" She asked herself. "Why can't I just go back to Wonderland and fight with them?" She knew the answer to that question as soon as she asked it. The thoughts of wonderland in shatters, her friends soaking in their own blood and Hatter, her Hatter, in the hands of that manipulative idiot. That was why she was doing all of this. She couldn't remind herself enough about what would happen. She couldn't even allow herself to think a simple "what if"-question. What if Wonderland's soliders was better? It wasn't worth the shot.

After wandering around the boundaries of Beyond she found an old man that could escort her to the castle, which was not at all like Marmoreal, more like a large house. With a lump in her throat she stepped inside, only to be greeted by an isle of statues of Eriah and what she supposed was his victories. Alice was more scared than ever. "I need to get myself together." She whispered. "6 impossible things, Alice. Come on. 1. There is a place in only black and white. 2. You get there by using a huge stair from one world to another." Alice did enjoy her father's old method to calm herself down. It told her everything was possible and that was exactly what she needed to know now. It was soothing.

"3. I'm two worlds below London. 4. I give up my dream home for the dullest place on earth. 5. I am about to be a queen." Alice found her muchness return to her as she spoke the last sentence. "6. I will be happy in Beyondland and I will love my husband."Impossible things could happen and had happened renewed strength in her eyes she continued into the castle to start her new life.

* * *

Mirana sat on the edge of a bed in the castle's royal wing, stroking the hair of an orange-haired man as she peeked out through the windows to watch the beautiful day. He opened his eyes slowly, looking whimsy. He soon brought his hands to his head and moaned. It was four days since he hit is head on the marble stair and it still felt like something was hammering on his brain. Still, it wasn't quite as bad as it had been before. Hitting a marble stair wasn't his favorite thing to do, though. Recovery was far too long.

"Hello." She said with a smile when she saw him waking up. "How are you feeling today then, dear?"

"The head is better." He said, implying that something else was not. Mirana quickly got the hint.

"And the heart?"

" I must be dying." He whispered. "I feel like I'm dying. I think it's crushed."

"You're not dying." Mirana said, giving him an amused smile. However, he could catch a glimpse of anger in his eyes but it was oddly not directed to him. He figured it was at first, since he hitted his head and was all mad and wouldn't forget Al-. That girl. Strangly she was mad with someone else and though he thought and thought he couldn't figure out why when he was the one who had been acting wrong. "You're such a drama queen, Mr. Hightopp, did you know that? Anyhow, you usually say it's broken."

"Did you know that heart is a muscle? It cannot break." He glanced away towards the window, his eyes turning blue and Mirana knew to well what that meant. Deep sorrow.

"I'm sorry about... You know who."

She saw how he struggled his madness, his internal battle, to not disappear into his own thoughts. At last he gave her a stiff smile.

"I don't really mind. I have all the friends I need here." He made a vague hand movement towards the rest of the, very empty, room and gave off a tired giggle. He was nauseous, dizzy and his head and heart hurt like he thought something hard smashed them, but he had to try. For Mirana. He had asked her for a potion that could help him with everything. To forget and to be out of pain but there was no one that didn't give him side effects like being loopy or have an increased strength of emotions. He had rejected it with the reason that he had enough emotions for the moment, thank you.

He thought of the time he'd spent waiting. Everybody waited the first year, like they all expected her to come back and then he had been doing other thins. Making hats, having tea because no matter how strongly he wished she hadn't left him she said she would come back one day and she had things to do. It was not likely that The Alice would come back just because a simple Hatter wanted her to, and a very important woman like herself probably had plenty of business in the Otherworld. He kept the optimism for the first half of the second year. She was- No, is special and she said she'd be back before he knew it but maybe her time was much more slow.

After that he thought he might have missed her, that she'd been there, all lost and then just returned because she couldn't find them. Could that be?

He started sitting by the table, thinking about the most horrible things that could have happened. Hatter sighed at the thought of that, he was naive and childish, as she said he was. To think that she, the champion, would return to their little country when she was clearly meant for more. To think that she might missed him too, someone as unimportant as himself… Ridiculous.

"Tarrant, Tarrant!" Mirana said, loudly. "Are you there, love?"

"Oh, I- I am sorry, I was drifting off, thinking about –"

"It's okay," She said. "I'll leave you for a moment and I'll return with lunch, all right?"

Tarrant nodded and watched her friend take up her fairy-like composure again.

"Do I look like a trustworthy queen now?" She said, laughing at herself. Usually she just dropped the queen-like posture around her friends and they were usually as amused when she had to put up her formal self and fake the complete lost-ness she usually had. They had giggled at it forever and she thought Tarrant could need a laugh.

But Tarrant didn't even notice, he had drifted off into his own thoughts again so she just gave him a warm smile and shut the door. She was truly worried about him and the latest news about Alice wouldn't make it better. She planned on keeping it from him but the rumors were flowing all over the castle. All she could do was to cross her fingers and hope. She had commanded the others not to talk about it around Tarrant but there was other ways for words to arrive to it's destined recipient than a direct conversation. Still, to have him hear about that... Poor thing.


	8. The word is spread

**New chapter! I feel really bad for not publishing chapters every day, I hope you don't mind though, I want this story to last as long as possible, since I've grown quite attached to it. I'm about to write the ending right now and I think there will be approximate four more chapters. I'm not quite sure so, I guess you'll see.**

**Oh, and don't hate me for tormenting poor Hatter. Something good will come out of this. Thank you for all of the reviews, I do take what you write in consideration when I edit the chapters and you give me lot of inspiration :)**

Mirana's wishes for silence about Alice wasn't going to come true, however. Just a few minutes after she left the room Hatter heard Mallyumkun and McTwisp, passing his window. He thought about leaning out to see them, but the minute he was going to stick his head out so they could see him he heard Mally's voice very clearly. It apperantly bounced through the walls and the voice was carried to his window and the thing Mally said made him very curious.

"So, what do you think, Nivens? I think Mirana took the wrong decision there. He has a right to know and maybe he would get what a horrible person she really is!" Mallyumkun shrieked.

"I t-think that she might have been right." McTwisp fingered on her watch, clearly a little bit afraid of the aggressive dormouse. "He shouldn't need to worry his head with such a thing you know. N-not after what just happened. Who knows how he would take it?"

"Did you hear she is going to visit her? Sometimes Mirana takes decisions that makes me all confused. I don't think she deserves it, no matter what happens. That girl shall be happy that she didn't meet me!"

"I-it's a b-big thing and Alice has a b-big connection to Underland." Nivens tried, but Mallyumkun just frowned at him. They paced through the garden and were soon to far off for Hatter to hear anything. He rushed out of his bed, dressed in only a lime pyjama, grabbing his hat and his suit jacket on the way. They had news about Alice and Mirana was going to visit her. How come he didn't know? He stumbled his way through the castle, the dizziness taking the better of his balance and the nausea increasing with every step.

Why am I doing this? He thought, Why am I stumbling out of bed, sick, to hear news about a girl that despises me?

He had no answer to his own question and messier, unimportant things like rhymes and riddles soon took over his mad brain but somewhere in the back it kept bothering him. It was like he had was after all his Alice. The Alice. He reached the throne room with a throbbing headache but he had overcome the nausea at least. Always a positive sign.

"Mirana!" He grunted, his voice a tad Outlandish. "You didn't tell me that you'd heard from Alice."

"Who told you?" She said, clearly upset.

"I heard Mally and McTwisp outside my window, they were discussing that you'd be visiting her and it was a big thing that had happened" …And that you were keeping it from me, he wanted to say, but he just couldn't. Mirana had always been nice to him and he didn't want to blame her, but he was angry that they didn't tell him. It was Alice!

"I didn't think you should hear it. After all you need to heal, Tarrant. By the way, the way she treated you and us, her friends, it was not nice. She should not be your worry anymore. It would be better if you just forgot. You've been so well these last days, more like yourself. It's good."

"I can take that decision!" Hatter said, starting to get even more angry. That Mirana kept some kind of cruical information from him made him quite worried. It had to be something really big if she had to visit Alice. Was she hurt? Was she back in London? Back in Underland? What was so bad that they couldn't tell him?

"I was planning on telling you when you felt better, you do have a right to know if you want to, of course you have." She looked at him with pleading eyes. She didn't want him to be mad with her but she didn't want to tell him and she wished quietly that he would mercy her.

"I need to know now." He didn't care about Miranas pleading eyes for the moment. Sometimes his head really felt like it was less mad when he was angry, that it was clear what he wanted and he wouldn't have to care about other non-important matters. Right now, he was almost too aware of what he wanted to do.

"Tarrant, you are sick. You shouldn't even be up know and I don't know how you managed to walk all way here but – " She spotted Nivens and Mallyumkun in the corridors. "Nivens! Mally! Can you come in here for a second?"

They did, and as soon as the little dormouse saw Hatter standing up and walking she threw herself against his leg and hugged the fabric of his pyjamas.

"'Atta'! Are you fine now?"

"I still feel weird, Mally, but it's better now. In the head at least." He added, because his chest still felt like a big black hole. He didn't feel hopeless though, it was worse when he was all alone in that bed. He lost a bit of his outlandish brouge when Mally hugged him and showed him her concern with his health. He had good friends. His mind just had a way of it's own right now.

Mirana made a noise that showed she wanted to continue.

"Since you asked for it, Tarrant, I will tell you. After that, I need to talk to you two." She pointed towards Mally and McTwisp and she looked truly irritated.

"Just tell it to me, Mirana. Is she hurt? In danger? I can take it, I promise." He was truly determined.

She saw how acted like a bewildered dog but she also saw the pleading misery in his eyes. No way he would take this good, he looked like he could run after the girl any second. He couldn't even stand really straight yet, he wobbled from the dizzyness. He couldn't run after her. Mirana thought she knew love when she saw it and if she did, this would hurt, more than any blow Alice ever gave him. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as when she told him Alice might as well be dead, but it would hurt him.

"You know what, I've changed my mind. Please go to bed and forget it. Alice is fine, I promise. I'm just going to visit her on a routine thing. No worries."

"What routine thing?" Hatter said, in the tiniest voice he had and Mirana knew that she had to tell him sometime. So she did, with a whisper.

"Alice… Is getting married. With Eriah of Beyondland."

Tarrant Hightopp stood quiet for the hundredth of a second, his eyes tearing up, switching between green, blue and orange. Then he marched away, stumbling down the marble stairs and his friends stood still while watching him run down them. They certainly didn't want him to hit his head again but they couldn't do anything but to hold their breath.

"Atta! Come back! That girl is nothing. She hurt you, she hurt Chessur, she hurt the tweedles. She's different, and there's much better for you out there!" Mally said as she ran up with him, almost shrieking in panic.

Hatter turned his head towards her, eyes all orange. "'Ow dare ye? Th' lassie was th' champion and an' without her ye would still be in th' hands of th' bloody big head!" He muttered, faster and faster. Mally looked at his and took in his rage. His eyes was almost black, and the pouches under his eyes were darker than ever. She didn't know what to do, so she stuck him with her needle.

"Hatter! Calm down!"

"I'm fine." He croaked, but his mood weren't getting any better. "Now leave me alone." His voice sounded so dark that Mally had no other choice and she did have a meeting with the White Queen. One that she figured wouldn't be all that funny, she had already figured out why she and McTwisp should speak to Mirana about. Mally looked at the tormented Hatter one last time before she headed back up the stairs to the throne room.


	9. An emotional journey

Over the next days, Hatter produced more hats than he ever had. Pile after pile builded up in his workroom and he worked every hour of the day except for opening the door to grab the meal that stood waiting outside. He didn't sleep, apart from a hour here and there and he most certainly did not talk to anyone. He just gave himself over totally to his profession.  
His hand had never looked so horrible as they did now, he had taken of the bandages to work correctly and you were able to see the stains of his earlier work, looking brightly orange against his alabaster skin, and the scars from the needle, together with fresh blood and dirt from handling the fur and pinching himself over and over. They were covered in callouses too, for when he decided to work he worked so hard it left marks forever.

One thing Hatter hated most of all was his hands.

This time he could work without a single thought of them. He was blank, like an empty paper. That was the salvation of work, he could bury his feelings deep within it in a way he usually couldn't, because he was normally the person that wore his heart on the sleeve.

Not that he knew what the phrase meant, but people usually used it when you showed your emotions easily. He actually thought it was a very silly phrase since wearing your heart on your sleeve would mean that you had to rip it out and that would most likely hurt and you would probably be dead. Then again, he hadn't tried it, so…

Hatter looked down on the blue, black and white fabrics on the floor and the more pastel pearls and bows on the shelf. Work. Work was good. And so he worked, until the 12:th day after Alice's return, when Mirana knocked on the door. "Tarrant? You don't need to open but I just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving for the… Well, you do know. Mally promised to bring you supper. Don't do anything stupid!" she said, with a distressed voice. It worried her that she didn't knew what he did in threw open the door with a half-hearted grin.

"You won't have to worry, I'll come with you!"

"I'm not sure that would be a good idea." Mirana said, with her hands trembling in the air. They revealed everything she felt and right now she wasn't really sure what to say.

"I will be proper, more proper than you've ever seen me. I just want her to be my friend. I wouldn't hurt her in a million years. Please?"

He looked exactly like a little pup with his big green eyes, but Mirana was still uncertain. _Hatter_ hurting someone wasn't her biggest concern.

"Consider it a personal favor then" Hatter said, decided to use some foul play to get where he wanted. He had known she wouldn't want him to come, but he simply had to. He knew how he would make Alice take him back now. "I was captured at your sister's to make sure you could get the throne. I would die so you could have your champion and your crown, right? I'd do anything for you, since you are my friend. I'm begging you." His smile was mischievous and would probably have made Chess jealous if it wasn't so that it couldn't quite reach his eyes. Still, Mirana had no choice.

"If you think that is the best for you, I guess I owe you" She said, a bit agitated. If it wasn't custom to do so, she wouldn't have gone either, Alice did hurt her and she couldn't imagine how Hatter felt, as they had been the closest ones.

"Perfect!" He rushed inside and Mirana could hear something being thrown around. A few minutes later he came out again, dressed in a proper black suit and with a shining Top Hat on his head and with a light green package in his hands.

"I am finished." The spark of hope was once again lit in his eyes.

There was a certain something about his glow after Mirana told him he could come. He was still the ideal picture of a person with a broken heart, almost worse since Hatter's feelings was always at least twice as expressed as the others but now he felt like if he just changed, to this serious person that she wanted, maybe she would stay his friend and not repel from him. He would apologize and then they could still be spending time together because he knew she wasn't changed. People like to believe you could change as a person but you didn't. It never happened. There was always a bit left of them and he knew there was in Alice. He was sure he could find the lasting piece of muchness in her and when she finally showed her true self again he would forget all the things she said that ached inside him, she would cure his wounds from waiting for her. She was that kind of person. The best kind.

Later that evening both the white queen and the Hatter went away to see the marriage and crowning of the new queen of Beyond and they didn't know if they wanted to be there and even though they had been invited (well, Mirana had.) they didn't know if the queen herself wanted them there. It was a shot worth taking.

They didn't arrive until late the next day. The sun was almost disappearing behind the mountains and they noticed that the whole country and even the sunset was all in grey and black and white and very boring in Beyond. They couldn't believe their eyes, much like Alice when she arrived. It wasn't a joy to watch at all, it was rather horrid actually and neither Tarrant or the Mirana had ever seen Beyondland before. They had merely been travelling through some time. To see this place in all it's non-glory was for them rather chocking as Underland was built upon love, color and individuality instead of the very opposite.

"How can A… Anyone live here?" The travelers asked in chorus. Well, Mirana quickly changed her words in a mouthful as she realized how pre-judging she sounded. "You know what? Let's not judge. It could be a wonderful place underneath all of this." She said, trembling after the right words., looking very uncertain. For the queen and the Hatter, used to life and randomness, this was hell on earth.

…. They should only have know it was hell on earth for Alice as well.

* * *

She was in her room, her head going over all possible scenarios for the day in ultra-rapid and slowly counting down the hours until she would be wed.

Her back hurt from trying to tear her cuffs, which had been given to her as she first came. They weren't bound to anything but they magically kept her in certain areas of her room and very, very rarely outside of it. However, she would never escape, it wasn't even a possibility. What he would do to her friends then… She shrugged. Eriah didn't believe her though, and she didn't want to do unnecessary fighting, she just had to find the right blank sheet of emotions. Living in this world she had to forget everything, stop feeling.

No, it was not escape that triggered her wish to brake free from the bonds, it was her stolen freedom. She felt like a monkey in a cage, all the time with the blaming eyes of her wonderlandians, staring at her like she deserved it. It could have driven anyone mad.

"Mad!" she cried and ran forward to the other wall again. The flash of emotions she felt when she even thought that word made her feel cold and all torn apart. She ran as much as she could, punching the air in front of her as a picture of Hatter's poor face and Eriah telling him the stupid lies and torturing him formed in her mind. Alice felt the cold metal strain against her warm skin as she collapsed on the floor of the castle, with sweat and tears running down her cheeks and fire burning in her eyes.

When she was alone she could cry. It ached in her eyes and she was afraid that she would have lost her tears soon, as much as she cried. Every time anyone closed that damn door she felt the aching between her eyelids and her torturous mind spilling her words of self-pity. Every time. At least the very first days had been good, when she had her muchness in a tight hold, it helped her make the days run smoother but she had lost it again. All Eriah needed to do was to mention Wonderland and everything was ruined. She had almost permanent red stains over her whole face now. She hated the king, she hated Beyond and she hated the feeling of not having full control over either her body or her mind. Alice cringed as a knock echoed in the room and in came Eriah, looking amused to find Alice sad and on the cold stone floor.

"I knew you were a fighter dear, but this is ridiculous."

She just gave him a murderous look and shook her head.

He grabbed her sore wrists and she tried to break free from his grip, his hands on her skin disgusting her, but he was too strong and the cuffs tensed to much around her wrists for her to fight. "Just look at this, it's exactly what I'm talking about." He said, pointing at the red marks that were a proof of her hard struggle. "Don't you want to look beautiful at your wedding?" He said.

Alice dried her eyes and gave him a hateful grin. "In a place where there is no life, nothing beautiful will ever be. My father told me." She said to him with a frown. She wanted him to see how bad she thought this was, how mean she thought he was and how much she hated everything.

"I would be more careful if I were you, dearest. Maybe you should try to adjust. I will send in some servants in the morning and they will make you ready for the big day. You'll be the most powerful and beautiful queen. We've only had almost two weeks and I'm sure you'll get that stubborn out of you in a monthly or two. You're already weakening, Alice. Don't worry." He turned to leave, with those as his last words. "I can't have our daily breakfast tomorrow so eat nicely. I don't want bad luck." He blinked towards her as he left her alone again and she faded into the blank paper she wanted to be. She crept up on the bed that stood along the wall and laid there, not thinking about anything, slowly falling asleep.

A faint knock on her door was all she needed to wake up. The world was still dark and the broad sky that opened up outside of her window had lost all of its stars. She looked around in the darkness. _No one comes in here in the middle of the night_, she thought. _Why would they now?_

**Hatter and Alice are finally in the same place and Eriah has a chance to be portrayed as an even bigger scumbag. Woo! :D I hope you enjoy it!**


	10. Knocking on her door

Alice looked suspiciously at the wooden door at the end of the room. Her chandelier was still lit so some light flowed in the room, just enough for her to see the details of the dark corners. She snuggled up inside of her blanket, not bearing herself to answer the door. She couldn't open it however, so if anyone wanted to reach her they would come in anyway. The blanket wrapped around her so tightly that it felt like a good friend's embrace. It was a nice feeling, just like when she slept amongst the leaves and really needed someone to hold her. She just wished it were indeed a friend instead of a blanket or a leaf, she would need an ally with the wedding coming up so quickly. She sat there for just a while and no one opened her door. She could feel how her eyelids were in the process of closing themselves when she heard the knock one more time, together with a weak "Alice?"

It was a soft voice with a bit of a lisp that was trembling for her in the middle of the night. She didn't dare to believe it, it must be a dream. No one would let him through to her and he shouldn't have left Underland in the first place, but still? Miracles had happened to her before but did she really want him there? Her hurting wrists and red, cried-out eyes told her that she did and her logical brain told her that she most certainly did it. Still, her Hatter would never be in a place like this. Never. Once again she figured she must be dreaming and then she saw no problem in answering the voice behind her door.

"Hatter?" She said very, very quietly. She wished so badly for it to be him, to be true. Even if it was just in a dream, she would be able to get a real hug and that Hatter-smile of his that could make her dissolve into happiness.

"C-can I come in?" He said, clearly nervous. She closer her eyes and focused on all the things she wanted gone, if it was a dream they would most certainly disappear. Her cuffs, her un-done hair, the black dress she wore the day before, the castle and the image of Beyond outside of her window. She thought her hardest to make it go away and it wouldn't. It wouldn't.

Another "Alice?" from outside of the door made her sigh.

"Come in-"

First she saw light. The room had been rather light before, but now she stared right into the flickering flame of a candle. Then she saw it, vaguely emerald eyes and then she saw what really made her believe it was a dream. The rest of Hatter. It was Hatter but it surly wasn't Hatter. The feeling was like an earthquake in her because he didn't look like himself. He looked like a Londoner.

"I have to wake up" She said, looking at him with her mouth open. "You're not Hatter."

She looked at his black suit and the conservative hat. She saw his wonderful orange hair all stroked back into this strict haircut and then she pinched herself, just like when she first came to Wonderland. A massive pain swam through her shoulder and she cried out with pain but she didn't wake up. It couldn't be a dream, but she desperately wanted it to be. Hatter was soon by her bed, holding her hand. " Alice? " Then he silenced as if he couldn't say anything. He needed her but he didn't know how to tell her without sounding, well, mad.

"Why? How? Is it really you?" She said, feeling that lump of tears in her throat once again. Ironically the only man that could make her feel like she was truly happy was the only man that could make her cry.

"Mirana was going to your wedding, routine, you know, and I wanted to show –" He bit his lips, not knowing how to continue. It was him, so different, but it was him. The logical part of her took over.

"How did you get in here? The guards, they will kill you if they see you here! Please Hatter, I'm sorry, but you need to go." She could feel her heart beating faster and faster as her mind was filled with the pictures of what Eriah would do to her Hatter if he found him in her room at this point of the day. Hatter, on the other hand, wasn't concentrating on Alice's words but on her wrists. His eyes looked big as saucers as he rubbed his thumb over the cold metal and the bruised skin.

"You… These are restrictive." He said, sounding more lost than ever." Why? Wasn't this your wish? I could, I could-"

"It's tradition, you don't have to worry. Please Hatter, leave now. They can't find you in here. Not now." She pulled away her wrists and hid them under the blanket. Her lies just flowed out of her mouth easily and she wished that it wasn't quite so easy to make him believe her.

"I'm not afraid of him or his guards"

"But you are mad." Alice said, on the edge to panic.

"Why do you mind? They are apathetic and mostly as weak as mushrooms or even wabbertails. Wabbertails are horridly weak, they almost break as a leaf falls on them and it would be understandable if it was a huge leaf or if they were very small but no, they are very proper Wonderland size, both of them."

"W-what?" Alice said, now crying for real.

"Oh, don't be crying, Alice, please. I'll go, I'll go. Just don't cry." His eyes turned blue, just as they did on the stair in Marmoreal and she felt her whole inside scatter. Hatter regretted how simple it was to forgive her for the last time, how easy it was to try to be her friend.

"Hatter! Wait! What were you saying about the soldiers?" She wanted to say so much else but time wasn't in his rightful mood here and the seconds were ticking way too quick.

"Alice, I passed them without fight. You shouldn't worry." He shrugged his shoulders and then turned to leave, looking like he just lost everything he ever had in the world. "I'll see you, down-"

"I'm so stupid!" She screamed, stumbling of the bed and tearing the cuffs with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm a slurvish slurking urpal idiot!" She sobbed, falling down on her knees on the cold stone floor, as she couldn't tear her arms any further.

"Alice!" He turned around with the orange burning in his eyes and his Scottish brogue infecting every other word. "If ah' dun let anyone else say tha' about ye, what makes ye think tha' I would let ye say tha' about youself?" He was furious with anger. "No matter what ye done ye will always be tha' champion of Underland and th' Alice! Th' Alice! No one can ever talk bad about her."

"I hurt you and I hurt almost all of my friends in Underland for a lie and I took a decision on selfish grounds, I deserve Every. Single. Word. I was naive enough to be fooled, Hatter." She said, with clenched jaws, once again tearing the bonds of her arms in pure frustration. Madness was really getting at her too. Eriah had lied to her and made her do this. Oh, how she could kill him. She fought in the air, doing everything to fight herself out of this mental cage. It felt as if she couldn't even take a breath without it digging deep scars in her throat and her eyes was like a water fall, tears streamed unstoppable down her red cheeks.

Hatter's fire was quickly put out as he heard her words and the eyes turned their regular glimmering green. "So…" he said, unsure how to put it.

"I hate Beyond! I hate the man I'm about to marry and I hate the Alice I have to be!"

"You're always the Alice, you know. Dun' ave' to be anyone." Hatter said, taking her into his arms. She looked up at him with her brown eyes, her whole body shaking of tears and anger in his warm embrace. It was a real hug, the kind that made her feel as if her inside was slowly, slowly melting away.

"You." She said, leaning against him." I've been so mean to you and I kept you waiting but the hole, I couldn't find it at first and I had so much to do but I should have stayed and… I don't know if I can ever crave that you'll forgive me." He gave her a warm smile, just happy to have his Alice back. He felt just as he thought she would. Everything about her healed his inside. He needed her just as desperately she seemed to need him and he held on to her as hard as he could, afraid that she would go away from him. He knew he shouldn't long for her this much, he knew he should be angry but he just couldn't.

"I've already forgiven you."

They stood silently for a moment until Alice remembered something that made her look away in shame.

"What is it?" Tarrant asked, gently.

"Hatter. Chessur said something when I met him in the forest, something truly horrible that would make me cringe with regret if it were true and I think you know that it would but I do need you to answer honestly. Alright?" He nodded, with a sigh. "He told me that you had been… screaming. Lost in the madness. For a long period of time, it seemed... Is that so?"

"Do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?" Tarrant said with a painful grin as if he would rather leave the subject very quick.

"You said you would answer honestly." Alice said, squeezing his waist so hard as if she would never let him go. She was really too afraid of his answer because if he felt like that when she left she couldn't imagine how tormented he had been when she talked to him last and it would also mean that she took the wrong decision to go home. For her part, she already knew it was the most stupid thing as she crumbled to pieces every day she wasn't with them in Wonderland and it was the only thing she could think about in London. But her stupid decision meant a completely different thing if she had hurt her friends. Hatters voice suddenly appeared, he spoke very slowly and whispering as if it hurt just to talk about it.

"I went mad after you left. I know you always say that it's good to be mad but I was horridly mad in the absolute worst way. It wasn't your fault, it has always been hard since- Anyway, that stinking slurvish cat was right, Alice. I wish I could say he wasn't but I can't. It wasn't until Mirana confronted me though, she said that you would never be back, that you might as well be… dead." He whimpered just by the thought of it. "Before that I just waited for you by the tea party so you would find me and then sometimes I…"

"Sometimes you what?" Alice said, in the same tortured voice as he had. That she caused him that much pain was almost unbearable.

"I went completely mad. Thackary even got hurt and he and Mally left me by my table. I was blaming myself for letting you go. I thought you got hurt and it would be my fault. I was so afraid I lost you. You're the best friend I've had. Mirana and Mally and everyone else mean so much to me to but you are different in a way I can't explain."

"Friends don't hurt you, they protect you. I've been so mean and everything I've wanted was to get back to Underland." …To meet you, she wanted to add, but she didn't dare to.

"It wasn't your fault. The madness, it can't handle losing the ones I love."

"Oh." Alice said, chocked with his words. Hatter blushed as he realized what he had told her.

"I- I don't mean- It's not- I mean-"

Alice just watched him for a second until she loosened from his grip, just to grab his collar, standing on her tiptoes. It was an impulse she would probably have to forget later on, but for this moment she needed it so badly. He leaned down towards her and she kissed him as gently as she could on the lips, not wanting to scare him away. His hands grabbed her back and she could once again feel that smell that she loved, that just signified Hatter. The butterflies that she felt every time she thought of him was now increased by at least ten thousand and it felt as if they were about to break through her stomach.

" I love you too." She said as soon as she caught a breath the next time. She hadn't even thought of it, it just slipped her but it was more true than anything else. She didn't know if he meant just as friends and she couldn't take back what she'd already done. Hatter turned away, slightly embarrassed. She had a chance to see his red cheeks before he turned away and started walking towards the door.

"Hatter! Don't go! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so pushy and if you don't want to I don't have to talk about it, I had an impulse and we won't talk about this-"

"You're rambling." He said and laughed. "Don't worry, Alice. You should never worry. I feel as If I'm going to fly. I'm so marvelously, magnificently happy, that it hurts and I brought you something that's just outside the door and I was going to get it but I just realized I have to do something else first, I have to…" He turned around and gave her his widest smile, futterwacking all over the uneven stone floor. As he finished Alice had finally returned back to normal breathing instead of crazy hyperventilating and her heart didn't feel like it would beat itself out of her chest but rather just hammering inside of her. She rushed forward to hug him again, his dance touching her with every step he had taken but was abruptly stopped by the cuffs. A harsh reminder of were she where. Still, she felt as if she were in an emotional bubble for the moment, where no unhappy thoughts existed.

A simple thought crossed her mind.

"Why do act and smell so much like my Hatter even though you're dressed like Hatter would never be? Why are you sneaking around to meet me in the middle of the night?"

He gave her a grin. "I don't think you have the right to speak about not being yourself." She looked down on her dress, awfully black, and her tired eyes, showing that she'd been awake too many nights, thinking about her friends in Wonderland. "Really, I just wanted to be your friend again, I wanted to show my serious seriousness. I've only been able to think about you ever since you left. Or, well, I did sing a bit and my mind can't get rid of the raven riddle but you were still on my mind while I thought about that and I didn't think you could think of two very different things at the same time and-" Hatter said, when she didn't answer his pun.

"I thought about you too." Alice said and gave him a genuine smile. "And you, Mr. Hatter, should never change for anyone. You are perfect."

"It's Hightopp." He said quietly.

"What?"

"It's Hightopp. My name. Tarrant Hightopp, actually."

"It's pretty." She said, with a wryly smile. " I prefer Hatter, though. It's sweet. You're sweet. It fits." Alice said and giggled.

Once again, Tarrant blushed so that his face was crimson red. Alice just looked at him, gazed at him and every little detail of his Hatter-ness. How she had missed his hugs, his crazy rambling, his pretty smile and the way he whispered her name. He could make her forget all of her current situation in an instance, even though they were still in the castle and she was still bound it felt like she had her freedom back again and her heart was truly happy for the first time in five years.  
She was delighted that he came to her in the middle of the night, as they would have some problems to deal with before the maids came into her room in the dawning. She didn't want him to meet Eriah, no matter how non-dangerous his soldiers was. Eriah himself was bad enough. Still, it was best to enjoy the moment because somewhere along the road they would meet up with their senses and Hatter would probably realise how bad she hurt him and how selfish she was but for now, she just wanted to be with him since she had longed for it so long. Her own mind could also be dealt with later.

"I-I'll go get this thing I brought. It's not perfect but I wanted you to have something colorful with that black dress of yours." Tarrant said to break the comfortable silence, looking very insecure. He hurried out through the door and lifted up the green package and handed it to Alice.

"Hatter, did you make me a-"

"Shh! If you spoil it, it's no surprise." He looked like an excited child. She smiled and sat down on the bed, tearing up the paper. Inside was the most delicate top hat you'll ever see. It was in the perfect light blue, matching the first dress she wore to Underland with a delicate black lace on top. It had a huge black bow and ribbon around it and small, white feathers of a dove attached under the ribbon. A tiny glass heart was also attached, as well as white buttons in different sizes and looks. It was just as messy as herself and just as beautiful as Wonderland. She felt so amazed she couldn't even breathe.

"Do you like it?" Hatter said, trembling for a sign of liking. He looked so worried that it was almost comical. He didn't have to worry; it was the most adorable thing she had seen.

"Lately, I've been considering words with a B." She said with a mischievous glimpse in her eyes.

"Bad?" Hatter asked, looking like he would panic every next second. "I can do anoth-"

"No, not bad." She interrupted him calmly. "Beautiful, breathtaking, brilliant, bubbly, best."

"Oh" he said, lifting her up into the air and twirling around with her in his arms. "You can't believe how happy that make me."

"I can" she said and giggled, looking into the eyes of his that almost glowed green with happiness. He put her down to the ground again and putted the little top hat on her head.

"You look marvelous. As always." Hatter said, stroking her cheek. "I wish I could take you home. I mean, my home, I don't know if you wish to stay or-"

By those words, Alice felt the reality slipping back to her. What would she do after this? She knew she wanted to stay but was she still accepted in Wonderland? And how would she leave? She saw the white sun sending its first beams through her windows and realized that Hatter had to go. She didn't care how bad Eriah's soldiers were, Eriah himself was smart and she had no clue how the cuffs were controlled or how she would get out of them and that gave them a disadvantage.

"What time is it?" She asked, clearly nervous, without answering the question he implied. There was so much she needed to take care of before she could answer.

"Oh. Eh, it's… Soon seven a.m." Hatter looked disappointed, but he tried not to show it.

"No, it can't be." Alice said, but glancing out the window she could see the sunbeams hitting her floor as the sun raised above the mountains. The green present paper and the little blue top hat on her were irregularities from the normal black and white and Hatters orange hair definitely were. No matter where she hid them they would be seen. "Then you have to go, before they come. I wish I was able to come with you." Alice said, feeling the panic return. "But I am not. Go, take the hat and the paper and I'll do what I can to get out of here. If I can't… Visit me, often."

"I'm not leaving you, Alice." He said utterly determined. "I'm not leaving you with these people. Look at your wrists!"

"You have to go. The guards might be harmless but I swear to you that Eriah is a manipulating guddler's scut and I don't want you fighting. I've done you enough harm already."

"I want to get you out of here, Alice."

"There's nothing you can do. I don't even know how these work. I will find a way out on my own." She gave him a look that said everything. He had to go.

"I'm going to do something." He said. "I am."

"You always do." Alice said and hugged him as hard as she could, feeling completed as she felt his arms around her waist. "You make me feel perfect. I love you." She whispered, not knowing if he could hear her last words or not. She had already told him, but this time it was truly sincere, like it struck upon her for the first time. He just gave her a peck on the cheek and her whole face lit up.

"Now go!" She said to him, realizing that the sun was almost up in the sky. The maid would come anytime. He took her hat and the paper and slowly stepped out of the door with a single, clouded:

"Fairfarren, Alice. For now."

**See, I'm not cruel! I'm sorry for the long chapter, though.  
**

**Anyhow, thank you so much for the wonderful replies of yours! You make my day, everyday and you keep me witty and writing.**  
**I usually don't like when you illustrate a story and I still don't. However, I thought you could need some visual help with Alice's hat and I was bored so I photoshopped the original Hatter hat into my Alice hat. It's not very professionally done since I am not a very good photoshopper (is it really called that?) but I hope you like it anyway :)**

**http : / /reginaspektorfan .deviantart .com / art / Alice - s - Hat - 175070053**

**Just remove the spaces!**


	11. Destiny's business

**I'm so sorry for not updating for such a long time. My internetrouter crashed so I've only had internet available on my cell and no matter how much I love that fanfiction is useable on my cellphone it's still very bad for editing, publishing and writing chapters. Well, now I'm back, at least temporarily and I hope I will be able to publish two chapters today, depending on if my mother will get her computer to work too since my story is on her harddrive. I will figure something out so 'til then, bear with me, please. **

**Oh, and thank you for all of the reviews, you are the best!**

Just as she thought, the maids did in fact come in after just about ten minutes and life started to feel as if Tarrant never had been there. It was just as cold and grey as usual and her only reminder that he hadn't been a dream as she originally had thought was the warm patch on her cheek where he had kissed her and her tingling, cherryred lips that had graced his. She realized she had to do something to retrieve the colour he had brought but not even the grey, soulless maid wanted to release her from her captivity, not matter how much she pleaded or fought against them.

The youngest maid, Mary, sat down beside her by a wooden table, putting a spoon of oatmeal in her mouth every time she opened it to talk. It was as though Mary didn't hear her, as if her ears were locked. Alice hadn't noticed it before but she wasn't sure if they ever actually had said anything to her. The cuffs locked her in the right position for them to do both dress and feed and fix her so why would they have to talk to her? Her despair had been so big during the two weeks she had them there so she hadn't noticed and that made her head spin. She had never lived through anything that made her detached with human contact, let alone forgot to notice it.

_That should mean I'm happier now_, she thought and gave of a sly smile. Mary did immediately stop her feeding of the Alice and looked at her like you look at a monkey in a cage, pretty much the only expression she ever had. Then she opened her mouth and Alice was now sure they hadn't talked to her before.

"It's good to be happy at your wedding-day." The maid said, sounding metallic and false with her low-pitched voice. Her facial expressions did not change, it never did, and Alice was after some thought now sure they never had either. It was amazing what a night with the Hatter, the plain opposite to the maids and really all the people in Beyond, could do. It was as if she regained her mind. Yes, it was good to smile at your wedding-day, it truly was.

"You know, you are a true wabbert-" Alice's attempt to talk to the maid only resulted in more oatmeal being stuffed down her throat and she sat there, looking like a hamster or something very similar with her stuffed cheeks and a little frown that played over her lips. Her eyes did at least have more life than ever. The maids took out a very simple white dress out of a wooden locker in a corner of the room and ironed it while Alice, very involuntary, ate. Wedding dresses usually stunned her; they looked just as shining white and impressing as Mirana's dress and were accompanied by flowers in all the different colours and shapes. This dress was not even white for real; it had a hint of grey, as if it was dirty.

A headpiece made out of black gossamer and black peals was supposed to be resting on her head and a necklace of two rows of black pearls was fitted for her neck. No flowers, as far as her eye could see, and she sighed upon seeing that. She had always imagined her wedding to be filled with flowers in all different shapes, colours and sizes. Then she shook her head. She wasn't going to marry Eriah. She had to keep her mind running with pictures of Hatter to not lose it. She had to fight. If not for herself, for him. She was not letting him down again.

The maid in front of her dried her cheeks from the oatmeal that was smeared all over her when she was forced to eat and she was led in her arms over to the wardrobe where two other maids waited to dress her. They slipped the cotton-dress over her head and tied the little ribbon in her waist. She could feel the smell of all the foreign visitors from outside, they brought a heavy sweet scent to the air that hadn't been there before and she just smiled, which allowed her to once again get the "It's good to be happy on your wedding day"-comment from Mary. It sounded as if she was programmed.

The maid laid the cold pearls around her neck and she shivered from the coldness of them. It felt as if though they were contracting around her neck, strangling her. The maid tied a fairly simple corset around her waist and pulled so Alice, already feeling short of air, had to gasp to get some oxygen down to her lungs. If she could have protested she would have, because she almost never wore a corset. She had once told her mother a corset was like wearing a codfish on her head and she stuck with that opinion. However, for now she had to focus on breathing.

After a time of focusing she actually felt much better and by the time they put up her fragile hair in a messy knot and placed the gossamer headpiece on top she actually didn't feel short of air anymore and perfectly ready to run from her own wedding. Never in her life had she thought that she, Alice Kingsley, was going to be a runaway bride! It was, however, a fact that she didn't appreciate arranged weddings that much and that she wouldn't marry without love but she had always thought that she would end up in front of the altar with the man she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. In London she sure wouldn't have engaged anyone she didn't love, no matter what her mother said.

The wedding came closer and closer by the minute and she still had no plan for how she would get away from this thing. She desperately hoped that they removed the handcuffs before the wedding, and then she could escape to Wonderland before Eriah had a chance to stop it. They didn't. No, two men, soldiers, came to follow her to the altar when she was ready. The cuffs controlled her way and she realised that tearing them wouldn't help her for the moment. The more adaptable she seemed, the easier it would be to fool everyone she had to fool.  
Fool. Oh, how angry she was that she let herself be fooled. If she had an opporunity to kill the man she most certainly would have, knowing that all of this could have been avoided. Still, it was payback-time. Everyone would know that he was a liar and a scumbag.

That she thought that far and didn't just see the hopelessness made her feel more like Alice again and she could hear Absolem's voice in her head. "_First you were not-hardly Alice and now you're Almost Alice. You are more muchier now."_ It felt nice to know that she was almost herself for once since she started this trip.

The soldiers led her out to the garden and she could her music starting to play when her soldiers stopped, right by the aisle that led up to the altar. Eriah stood up front and grinned towards her with his yellow teeth. He was disgusting and now he looked worse than ever. He had crammed his large body into a way too small costume. It was made out of washed out black fabric and she could see the skin of his belly peaking out through the gap between his shirt and his pants. Still, the absolute worst thing hung around his neck. It was a big cape, completely made out of white fur. Alice had hated hunters all her life and seeing this almost made her see red and she had to take deep breaths to not scream at him.

Then she noticed all the people. Creatures from everywhere sat around the aisle she was about to walk through and there were those that looked more like humans and then there were the most amazing beings, things she never had seen before. Peacocks in all the different colours, with a horse head instead of their own and persons with ten arms and one leg. It was really odd, all of it and she felt more home then she ever had in Beyond. It was mad, and that was exactly what she needed. She couldn't see Mirana and Hatter anywhere, which indeed was odd, since she usually had a hard time missing the Hatter's orange hair and the queen's dazzling white dress but eventually she realised why. The dress code was all black. Hatter had probably hid his hair in a black hat and Mirana must have changed from the white dress she always wore into a black one. Alice wondered if that was even possible, since she was the white queen but decided not to argue the obvious. Still, the sea of people looked more colourful than black and that had to be because of all the different colours they wore on their skin, fur or feathers. It was truly amazing, but at the same time it put her down. She really needed the support of Hatter right now and she was upset that she couldn't find him in the crowd. She touched her lips carefully with one finger, they were still tingling. She was sure she loved him, but she wasn't sure if he had changed his mind about her yet. After all, she had been awful to him twice and she was quite sure it was to come.

It turned out she had to deal with that later as music started to play from an invisible orchestra. The music didn't quite sound like it did in the weddings in London, it was more fairytale-esque. There were mostly flutes and violins and harps that cut through the air as she was pulled up the aisle in her arms. All eyes turned to her and she looked through them hastily, in the search of a pair of green big ones. She saw that no one reacted at the cuffs; they really looked like a pair of heavy steel bracelets, not at all like regular cuffs so she wasn't really surprised. Still, they did look different but she just guessed that no one wanted to see. She wondered why Hatter had recognised them, since no one else seemed to do just that. She knew she would have to ask him, some time, if he wanted to speak to her by then. She shook herself out of her thoughts of the Hatter and looked for anything else since it made her wuite worried that she still couldn't see him and that was the last thing she wanted, that he wasn't there. It would mean that something either happened to him or that he'd come to his senses.

On her last step up to the altar her hand was graced by another hand, just lightly, as if it wanted to tell her that it was there. When she slowed down just a bit to see whom it belonged to, she finally saw that pair of eyes that she had been looking for. They looked sad, but with a hint of hope. Just like she imagined her own eyes to look. She held his hand as long as she could until she suspected someone would see what she was doing, which meant she only felt his hand for a millisecond. Still, it gave her all the courage she needed, to know that he still was on her side. Then she would do this for him, that way she couldn't fail. Destiny had played them too many pranks already and it was time for him to make it up to them.


	12. Author's Note

Authors note:

I can't really find the inspiration to edit the next chapter since I do not favor it. I will start a new school on Monday and I will need to focus on that all of next week so you can't expect the next chapter until then. I feel really bad about this and I hope you understand. Well, if you wish you can PM me (though I suck at answering, sorry xXNellXx, I will answer- I'm just a bit lost for the moment.) and you can have the current draft, everything is written, it's just very poorly executed :p

However, I'm so so sorry, please cope with me. Be back next week!

Hugs,

Memme


	13. And so they lived together ever after

The music slowly attenuated and she had to face Eriah. He gritted at her and took her hands. They felt like a pair of dead fish, moist and cold.

"Alice, dear."

"Eriah." Her voice was cold and her former smile was now a frown. He gave her a glance that pretty much meant that she should act better, but rather more hateful than those exact words.

They turned against the priest and Alice bit her lip nervously. She had hoped that they would unlock her when she reached the Altar. Wouldn't the guests wonder?

Apparently they didn't because she was not released and she wondered what wicked explanation Eriah had given them. She had learned to know him better during her two weeks with the man and he was still just as awful and horribly manipulative in her eyes.

"We are all gathered here to unite Eriah of Beyond, son of Beyond with Miss Alice Kingsley, daughter of Otherland and champion of Wonderland. The ceremony will be a mixture of these countries ceremonies and I hope you have understanding for the dissimilarities might be from what you are used to and I do hope that you have understanding that the bride's traditions also are prioritized." The priest looked them in the eyes and Alice understood what he meant. The cuffs, probably among other foul things, were something they said was her tradition. Most of the creatures here would probably not even now what Otherland was.

"Let the wedding ceremony begin!" The priest exclaimed and Eriah suddenly took her hands and they turned to face the crowd again, hand in hand. So many pairs of eyes stared at her but it was the sharp glow from a pair of amber ones, sitting just right next to her, that made her heart sting.

"I'm standing here with my fiancée, a woman of the people but still so special." Alice was sure Eriah was turned against her, for she felt his breath in her neck. Under no circumstance would she turn to him. She just kept her eyes locked at the crowd and tried to look around so she wouldn't see Hatter's span of emotions, just staring back at her. She had promised him.

"She is the most beautiful, delicate and delightful woman I have known and we are here today to beg for your understanding and also the understanding from Destiny, Time, Luck, Love and… Fertility." He said the last word as if he were implying something and Alice tried to hold down the disgust she felt as she also had to try to calm down her Hatter with her eyes as he were on his way to stand up and hurt someone. That someone wouldn't be her in that case and she was very thankful for that indeed. However, if she could avoid it she didn't want the two men to utter a word to each other. That could only bring chaos.

Eventually Hatter relaxed again, with eyes still significantly amber and she heard Eriah's last words.

"…Bring in the cakes."

Alice knew by experience that Underland-cakes had a lot of weird side effects and that exclamation made her even more worried than before. She didn't want to eat something that would make her escape even harder than it already was and since she didn't know the ingrediences in these, since she didn't know if they were from Underland or Beyond or if someone had put something dangerous in any one of them it was easy to get her worries.

The soul-less soldiers brought two chairs and she was told to sit down by the motion of her cuffs. A maid, actually it was Mary herself, brought them ten really small tarts in black, white and grey with different decorations. They were actually quite beautiful and the decorations fitted with the themes she guessed they represented. Time had a tiny pocket watch upon it, Destiny was decorated with growing and dying waterlillies, Luck had it's faithful four-clover, Love had a heart that pounded up and down and Fertility had a picture of a stork that flapped it's wings. Alice was truly thankful for that innocent motive and that she wouldn't have to see a little baby or something on that cake. She had trouble keeping nausea away anyway.

"Honey, will you do me the honour?" Eriah looked at her and her head turned without her thinking of it. She didn't get what he wanted so they sat there for a moment until someone made a cough in the audience, to show that they should carry on. Eriah looked at her with a face that was growing more and more red and a menacing glance towards the tray. She was supposed to feed him. Shit.

"Here you go, _dear_." Alice gave him a strained smile and took up on of the tarts and tried to put it in his mouth, avoiding as much contact as possible. Eriah made her put it on his tongue and closed his mouth to lick her fingers on her way out. This man was certainly not making it easy for her. She hoped that the Hatter managed to keep sane behind her back. Apparently Eriah was supposed to feed her too, so he laid the other, identical Time-tart on her tongue and he wouldn't let it go until she closed her lips around his finger. Gosh, how she hated this man.

Suddenly her mind started to spin and even though her eyes was open she didn't see the vision that just had been in front of her eyes, she saw her life. From the moment she was born until her first visit in Wonderland and all the way until this very moment, when her vision turned back to normal. She realised what she must have looked like, her mouth was opened and her eyes wide from seeing that many years under so few seconds. Alice quickly grabbed another tart so she would have to process what she'd just seen.

She inserted the Destiny-tart into Eriah's mouth and he did the same to her.

Suddenly she found herself somewhere else, standing in front of an old man and on a patch of wet patch. Her first idea was to run, now that she was able to.

"You can't run away from here, you'll go back to the same place. Just listen to my advice." The old man talked with an almost sleepy voice. "Follow where your heart leads you. You know where." Then she woke up again and the feeling of moist against her bare feet and of just wanting to crawl up and sleep disappeared. It was really disturbing being tossed back and forward and she didn't know how much the spectators could see or hear of what happened to her.

Now it was luck and she really wondered what would happen there. It wasn't as it luck could give you a memory or an advice to dwell over. It actually felt kind of exciting but that she would tell anyone that would ever ask her. It was nothing she wished to do again, it was just, odd. But rather pleasant somehow. If there weren't this much people where she were and she had time to explore.

"Are you doing well, dear?" Eriah looked at her and gritted towards her, flashing those ugly, yellow teeth of his. Maybe not _that _exciting now when she thought of it.

"Of course_, honey_. It's lovely." Her voice implied otherwise but it seemed as no one heard her less than loving tone.

He inserted the Luck-tart in her mouth and it quickly transformed into a four clover. She found herself being about to pull it out before Eriah grabbed her wrist.

"Don't do that, Alice, dear. You need to swallow it, sweetling. I know my traditions are rather odd to you but try." He stroked her over the cheek and an "Aww" seemed to spread against the part of the audience that wasn't either from Beyond and utterly strict or from Wonderland.

So she did. She swallowed it and her whole body felt reinforced, like she could do anything. That would most certainly be helpful if she got a chance to use it.

She gave Eriah his tart to and they moved on to love. This was probably the one she was most scared of, since she didn't know what people really saw. Then again, Eriah knew her too well from reading her notes about Underland. The man couldn't be completely ignorant.

She had to give it a try. First she gave Eriah his and he swallowed it down and got a glassy stare. His fingers graced his chin, cheeks and lips slowly and then he suddenly woke up, looking rather pleased.

It was Alice's turn. His fingers once again waited until she shut her lips just a bit. Then she realised why Eriah had acted so weird and why he hadn't given her the tart she should have until after he was done with his.

She saw Hatter. It was the last night and his eyes glowed so pretty, just as a greener form of stars. His face came against her and he tasted her lips just lightly and he backed off, looking worried.

"I didn't hurt you, Alice?" His voice lisped inside of her head.

She felt her hands grabbing his collar and pulling him against herself, answering his kiss as well as she could. When they backed off each other to breathe she felt a tingling in her lips, from his kiss and she brought a finger to touch them lightly, drawing a sharp breath. Then she saw all the guests again and realised they must have at least heard her noise.

Eriah looked at them and laughed. "I think we all know who my Alice thought of. To see her affection for me., that is why love is indeed the tart I waited for."

Alice turned her head to catch the Hatter's look and she saw how Mirana struggled with him. She had to do something soon, and she still had fertility left.

"The last, dear."

Eriah gave her it and she gave him his tart. She felt nothing, but the tingle that was still on her lips.

"It's… nothing?" She said and gave him a confused look.

"Oh, but the effects aren't quite visible now dear. They will be." He said to her, quietly.

"Well, beloved guests. After making it through the first step of the ceremony with the blessing of the faithful five and hopefully your blessing to we will move on to the next part, reading of the vows and removing the engagement-bond, putting on the ceremonial capes instead."

The priest took over. "So here we are to wed our lawful two. Eriah, king of Beyond will read his wows."

The chairs and the food-tray were removed by a couple of quick servants and the soon-to-be couple had to stand in front of the priest again, grazing into each other's eyes..

"Alice Kingsley, I promise to care for you each and every day, to keep you sane and away from all the madness in this world." He gritted. "You are indeed a lady, and your strength and willpower amazes me but I also think that I'm the right person to stop those fantasies of yours. I'm probably the happiest man all over all the words, knowing that a marriage in Beyond is unbreakable…" _Something I know too well,_ thought Alice bitterly. "…for I will love to spend my whole life with you by my side, as my queen."

The crowd applauded the nice speech and Alice figured it was her turn. Before she ever started to try to think words that sounded just as threatening and lovingly as his, the priest once again started to speak.

"Since it is a tradition in Miss Kingsley's, daughter of Otherworld and champion of Underland, native country, she will read after me instead of reading her own wows." He took a pause to clear his throat and then began to read from a book he held in his hands. "I, Alice Kingsley."

"I, Alice Kingsley."  
"…Take you, Eriah, king of Beyond, to be my wedded husband."

"Take you, Eriah, king of Beyond, to be my wedded husband." She felt like a marionette doll but she kept her hopes up. The priest said that he would uncuff her as a part of the ceremony, which would mean they were taken off before they were wife and husband.

"… To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part." _It's not settled yet, it's not settled yet_, she kept thinking for herself. It was almost too easy to give up.

"Then we remove the engagement-bonds. You are now leaving complete trust into complete twoness, were all selfish actions are deprecated."

She closed her eyes as the cuffs were removed, while listening to the voice of the priest.

"Alice Kingsley, daughter of Otherland and champion of Underland, do you take Eriah, king of Beyond to be the man you'll spend the rest of your living life again and your lawfully wedded husband?"

As soon as she felt the breeze against her sore wrists she ran, while screaming. "I certainly do not." Her legs paced over the lawn and she didn't know where to run, she just loved being able to go wherever. She figured she was on her way to the great stair and that Mirana and Hatter would follow her so she could explain herself to them. Instead, she heard Hatter's voice begin to scream and then stopped. "You slurvish urpal-"

Alice twirled around and saw her Hatter standing her to Eriah, Eriah's dagger just two inches from slitting his throat. She saw madness in her Hatter's eyes, yes, but madness were even more present in the eyes of the king.

"I- Don't you dare touching him."

"Come back then, Alice, dear."

The guests were making turmoil but none of them even tried to interfere with Eriah or tried to save Hatter. She realized the game was over. Everyone was too afraid to help her and she could even see that her precious Hatter was afraid. Oh, she loved him too much for this, her whole inside was scattering as she realized how close he was to death.

"Hatter, I- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She started to walk back to her wedding, her feet and head heavy as if she'd lost the most important battle of her life. To let her have freedom and hope for a hundredth of a second just to take it away as soon again. Destiny wasn't really finished playing her his cruel jokes.

"Let Hatter go." Alice said, as soon as she'd reached the altar. Guests were still creating chaos all around them but she blocked them out. All that was important was that Hatter wouldn't get hurt because of her. Not again, not ever.

She gave Eriah a tired look with her hazel eyes and tears filled her eyes. "Just let him go."

"How do I then know that the two of you won't run as soon as I removed my knife, huh, dearie? That you won't run off and play happily ever after when you are rightfully mine!"

"Will you let him go if we close the ceremony? If we make sure I'm forever your wife and queen of Beyond? Will you let him go then?" Alice was on her way to tears, her whole body shivering with worry. "I'll do anything."

"Alice, don-" Hatter said, his amber eyes flickering from her to the knife.

"Tarrant." It was all she said, his name. She said is as soft as if it were a wind that blew over the greenest of meadows but with the same sadness as when you mourn someone you've lost. It was pleading and heartbreaking and her Hatter immediately went silent.

"Let's do this." Her voice held the largest amount of muchness that it ever had, mixed with the same sorrow she felt upon hearing the deal between Eriah and herself for the first time.

The priest, a little bit shaken once again started to talk and the guests, that had been running around wildly and screaming at each other, Eriah and Alice, got quiet and stopped.

"Alice Kingsley… Daughter of Otherland and champion of Underland, do you take Eriah, king of Beyond, to be your husband?"

Alice shredded a tear when she looked up to meet Tarrant's eyes, reflected in the blade of the sharp dagger that almost rested on his throat. "I'm so sorry." She whispered to him once again and he just seemed like he lost his words."

"I d-"

"No you don't." A stern, but calm voice exclaimed. Mirana had risen up and her eyes were burning with anger.

"Mirana, you should not interrupt right now. You are interfering what the Oraculum has foretold"

"I will have to pay my debts to Time and Destiny later, Eriah. I know what that takes of me. However, if you touch my royal Hatter I will personally make sure my soldiers destroy Beyond and for my champion…Well, I'm so sorry, Alice. I should have known, but it looked as if you were here of free will. I allowed this madness to go on for too long. I just wasn't sure of your reasons and I didn't want you to hurt Tarrant. I wasn't sure if his heart would hold, dear." Her voice softened when she talked to Alice, and silver petals started to fall out of her eyes.

Eriah still held the Hatter too close to himself and the dagger and Alice was frozen on spot. All the guests too, they didn't know how to move or where to move, it seemed. It was as if time had stopped them. Then, as on spot, Eriah moved. "Go away, all of you!" He screamed, taking away his arm from the Hatter. If it were any other circumstance, Hatter would have embraced Alice and kissed her like there was no tomorrow but she had gone numb. He wasn't amazed, he was rather shaken himself so he just gently took her hand, careful not to pull her sore wrists.

And they breathed.

Listened to the screams of the mad king behind them and felt the warmth of each other's hand.

Breathed.

In.

Out.

It the realms of Beyond, life was numb and grey.

Almost all the time.

* * *

They had explained to everyone. Actually, they had probably spilled too many words on explaining and answering questions, regaining others trust, that they didn't have time to focus on their fears and feelings.

No, Hatter and Alice lived in their emotional numbness for several days after once again seeing Wonderland. They hadn't even talked that much and even Mirana was shaken by what had happened. They knew now that she had foreseen the most but that the Oraculum was wrong. It said that Alice would be married off and that Hatter would have to return to Wonderland to never see her again and Mirana had just figured that Alice had hurt him, _once again._

_Once again. _Those words had to be confronted one more time, just as they had to confront what had happened. But Alice was scared. Tarrant was actually the first one to bring it up. It was six days after their return and the two of them went on in their normal pace, chattering and laughing while they walked from the tea table to the white castle. The walked a lot, it felt great for Alice who had been almost captured for two weeks in Beyond. She had a desperate need for freedom.

Suddenly Tarrant stopped on the spot and Alice walked around him to meet his eyes.

"Hatter? Tarrant? Are you okay?"

He grabbed her face with one of his hands, holding it there ever so carefully.

"We need to talk." The Scottish brogue was thick.

It was those exact words that Alice had feared for so many days. "Do you know why a raven is like a writing-desk?" Alice asked with a mischievous smile. It was really a great question to ask when you felt awkward.

"No, we really need to talk, Alice."

"O-okay. Now?"

"At the castle?"

"Maybe that is better, I don't know," she said, quietly.

"At the castle then" Tarrant said, hoping they would get their cheerful tone up again. But the indubitable awkwardness held their distance all the way to the castle. They both knew what had to be said.

They arrived at the white castle when the sun was just about to head down and the stars started to glisten in the sky. The castle seemed to glow in the darkness and insects were making buzzing noises as the crickets played their little tune.

It was still warm outside and the sweetest scent from the odd flowers perfumed the air. It should have been perfect. Tarrant took Alice by the hand and they sat down by a bench in the garden.

He looked so sad and she wondered what he was thinking about. There was so much yet to say and Alice didn't know if she had answers.

"H- How are you?" Hatter said, using his softest voice. He wouldn't look at her, his eyes lingered on the rest of the garden as he spoke.

"I am fine." She answered and smiled towards him. His piercing green eyes suddenly turned to meet her hazel ones and he gazed into them for a while.

"Are you really?" The question made Alice smile, that was exactly what she had said to him when he told her about her family. Tarrant, however, was really serious and that put her off her guard. He had never confronted her like this before and then she really had to feel. It hurt.

"It was- It wasn't pleasant, no. I am fine now though, " He took her hands, his eyes turning into amber slowly when he saw the scars, that was still visible in the light of the moon and the fireflies that flew around them.

"An' wha' about this?" He asked. "Mirana said she wouldave removed them for ye?" She could still hear his lisp on every word, his voice so soft but so rouge. The soar skin was still as a red, painful ring around her wrists and apparently Alice was to strong for her own best, Mirana had told her the rings would last at least two months, maybe more.

"I- I- I deserve them." She said, as quiet as she could He wasn't fooled though, he heard every word.

"Alice." He said. Then he got silent. What could he say? _I'm nothing but a mad man, how will I know the right words to say? _Tarrant thought.

"I know." She just answered him quietly.

"No one blames-"

"I know!" she screamed at him and rose. "I know, I know." She ran her fingers to her silk, blonde hair. Again tears rolled down her cheeks. Tarrant was good at making her cry, unfortunately. She felt as if she was going mad, every time she thought about what she had done and what happened and how close she were to lose everything… It drove her insane. Badly mad, simply.

"Alice, please…" He said pleadingly.

"You could have died. You know that? That idiot could have killed you and it would all be my fault. Still, you are the one with enough decency to ask _how I feel, _because of what? Because I am scared and because you are too good for your own best. For Mirana's sake, I've been the worst friend there could ever be and you still care about me? Why? How?" She couldn't help to scream. It felt so good. Hatter just sat there, staring at her pleadingly.

"I was foolish enough not to realise what he did to me, how he manipulated me, yes. The things I told all of you… I was rather horrible. I've been horrible before. To leave this place, it was the worst decision I could have ever made."

He came up to her and wrapped his arms around her, rocking her gently. She immediately went quiet and just cried under the open sky with his hands drying everyone of her silver droplets. He had no words to answer what she just said, but there was something he desperately needed to know, so he leaned closer towards her.

"Is it true? Does that mean you'll stay? That you made the wrong decision, I mean…" He whispered in her ear and first she just stood in his arms, still with her eyes shut towards the rest of the world.

"I don't know, Hatter, I don't know. I want to stay so badly and I have nothing to return to really. I've said my good-byes." She seemed to shut her eyes even harder. "But I will have to start over and I will have to realize that London is just like Wonderland was before, impossible. I have to live and I don't know how to do it when you don't have a mother or a sister to take your every step for you."

"Yes you do." Hatter said in his lowest voice and that made her turn around towards him.

"W-what?"

"You do know, Alice. When I was at the bloody big head's court you decided to come after me, even though that wasn't your destined path. You found the vorpal sword and you killed the Jabberwocky all on your own. No one held your back then." He hugged her tightly, so tightly that she thought she was out of air.

"Hatter?" He nodded towards her. "Someone stood behind my back when I slayed the Jabberwocky and someone made me diverge from the path, you are wrong." She said, sadly. "Although, if I stay… I don't know if he would do that for me again, not after what I've done to him."

"Oh." Hatter said and she caught a glimpse of amber before he looked away again. "Well, Alice, no one would ever blame you for anything, you just makes me feel so perfect and you are always nice and- and you wouldn't be mean if you didn't really have to and-"

"I'm talking about you, silly." She said and gave him a faint smile.

"Oh. Oh! Really?" This time, his eyes were emerald green again when he looked at her. "I didn't… Really? I'd love to be behind you, Alice, I would. You are my best friend."

"Then I will stay. It's a promise."

They sat down on the bench again and she crawled up in his arms and he rocked her carefully. It was completely silent and the awkwardness was not yet gone.

"H-how do you feel?" Alice said, trembling.

"I'm alright."

"I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I guess I am stupid, right?"

"No, you are not. You are perfect." He gave her a wryly smile.

"No one's perfect." She also smiled and rubbed her hands over his bandaged hands. "Hatter, why do bandage your hands? Are they hurt that often?" His smile faded.

"We should not talk about them, Alice. Please don't." She was not stoppable, however. Alice had already started to gently, gently unwrap the bandage to reveal the scarred, calloused hands underneath them.

"They are beautiful." She said, simply.

"They are horrid!" He bit his lip and pulled his hand closer to his own body, trying to hide them in the sleeves of his jacket.

"How can you say such a thing? They are so delicate, long and sleek in perfect alabaster. You shouldn't hide them, you know." He was about to wrap them up again.

"No, don't do that!" Alice said and took his warm hand in hers. "You should love your hands. Why don't you?" It was a sensitive subject, but she'd rather touch that then the question that rested in the air and that made her heart pound with hope.

"They are scarred and bruised and calloused. They remind me of everything that ever happened to me, every hat I've ever made. Every time I unwrap them I get a thousand memories attacking me." He had a light Scottish accent when he spoke and she could see how affected he was_. Oh, he probably has some awful memories, worse than I know,_ Alice thought.

"So let me treat them" She told hem, gently. She brought his hand to her cheeks so she could feel every bump and bruise but more importantly, his warm hands against her face. "Let me care for them and mend them and create new memories with you, happy ones. I haven't been good at good memories yet but I will improve, I will."

"All my best memories are of you." He lisped. Once again they just sat until Tarrant broke the silence with the question they'd been avoiding for as long as possible.

"I-I have to ask and if you don't want to answer you don't have to butIdon'tthinkmyheartcould-" He shook his head slightly and calmed down. "It's a selfish question, I know but… Could a simple Hatter, just like myself have a shot at keeping the champions heart? I- I think I love you- No, I know I love you. When that scumbag looked at you and made his little jokes I was on the edge of bursting, Alice. I would have killed him if Mirana didn't hold me back. I don't think I could live with being only your friend. Not that it's very much only but-"

"You really love me like that? As more than a friend?" Now it was Alice turn to look serious, insecure and worried. "Really? I know that we kissed but I did not know…"

"Yes, yes,, I do." The fireflies bussed around them but they didn't have eyes for anything but eachother.

"You were everything on my mind when I had returned, you were my only hope when I sat alone in Beyond, You were everything on my mind for so long. Did you know that when I felt like it would be easier to just turn back and forget all about Eriah it was you I protected? The things he said he would do to you… I can't get the pictures out of my mind. I wouldn't have survived if he killed you, Tarrant. I love you more than I can handle and I would love to have you as my everything, if you would have me."

"I would."

He leaned down and let his lips slowly touch her, a gentle kiss. His thumbs rubbed her face, soft from the tears and she hugged his waist in her arms. They just stood there, two wild hearts, kissing under the starry sky, holding each other up.

**Yes, so here you have it. The unedited, uncut version of the last PARTS of Alice in Beyond. It's horrificly late, first of all, and probably have many errors which I am sorry for. I just thought that you would favor having this ending instead of no ending since all my time really will be eaten by school during the next three years. Thank you so much for reading, I hope you at least enjoyed it a bit and I also hope you know that you are the best ever too be kind and fave and review this story that I after all worked pretty hard on. I wish I could give you the right ending where everything is explained but I think Time got a bit agitaded with me a week ago and chose not to stop but to run incredibly fast. If I find the time I promise the right ending will come and if you'd like to rewrite/write an epilouge, feel free, but please PM it to me, I'd love to read it! Have a nice weekend 3**

**Love,**

**Memme**


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